Blogging the Royal Wedding

I am a sucker for royal weddings. Thirty years ago, I woke up wickedly early, as I did moments ago, to watch Diana and Charles's wedding. I just saw Princes William and Harry ride up to Westminster Abbey and I nearly had tears well up. I can only imagine how much pride Diana would have had today watching her boys walking in together, so regal and adorned with military garb, to the wedding. Then I had a twinge, a mix of sadness and pride, that my own boys will someday walk in together for each of their own weddings. Sigh.
THe queen is wearing canary yellow. Not sure what I think of that. I wonder if they have one fancy Rolls that keeps making the rounds picking people up, or if there are several. Either way, what a slick looking vehicle. It looks like there are several of the Rolls Royces. Classy.
Aaah, the bride just got in her Rolls. Oh, I love weddings.
Oh, I think there's an empty chair at the front in remembrance of Diana. Those boys are grown men. Her dress is beautiful...perfectly fitting for a princess. They must be walking very slowly because the Westminster Abbey is not THAT large. How'd they get trees into the Abbey? Pretty for spring. William isn't turning around to see her come down the aisle. His brother peeked. He just mouthed to her that she looked beautiful. Awww.
Still get a sourness whenever I see Camilla. The empty chair for Diana is next to Camilla. Huh?
Oh, the vows...so solemn. He MUST be more genuine than his father was.
She has a Princess Grace air about her. Very, well, graceful. I've never heard her speak until the vows.
Some of the hats in the audience are pretty creative...some just showy. Oh, the silly hat is worn by one of Fergie's daughters. It's not cute. Both of Fergie's daughters look pretty ridiculous. Fergie isn't at the wedding. I could not have predicted the fate of Andrew's and Charles's marriages when I watched their weddings. I very much wish that William and Kate have more happiness and can enjoy a long, long marriage.
The music is beautiful.
So many of the guests sit sideways in the church down the other wings of the Abbey and I am wondering whether or not they can see ANYTHING. I probably have a better view.
I remember going to Westminster Abbey and seeing all of the intricately detailed architecture. What an amazing place.
William looks very distinguished and Kate is just a perfect looking royal bride. I hope they have the happiness that I'm afraid Diana and Charles never really had. They just looked coyly at each other.
I wonder what the queen's reasoning is for holding on to the thrown for so long. Maybe it's just because she CAN. If she has any class at all, she'd pass up her son and make William the next monarch.
What a beautiful gown. I heard $430,000 was the pricetag. It is so classic and elegant.
I do love the trees.
They emerge from the Abbey. How can she not be bawling? This is just magical. Oh, and there's the carriage. Her smile is amazing...wonder who her dentist is! :)
The carriage ride--how splendid! Every little girl's dream. I think I'm going to cry. I am so glad I woke up to watch.

My Boys

Spring Break 2011

There are 61 days until Nick's graduation and 75 until I am a retired teacher...and that's counting the weekends. We began this week more closely resembling slugs, and the week couldn't have ended more eventfully. Plans completely turned upside down, and our entire future just took a drastic turn toward Waco. While Nick has long embraced this idea, Iiiii have shown a range of hesitation from being perfectly fine with it to being perfectly against it. Last night I cried, as Oprah calls it, the ugly cry. This morning I was okay with moving, bordering on perfectly fine with moving. This evening I'm feeling overwhelmed looking around at all of our STUFF and imagining the packing...so the pendulum of wanting/not wanting to move is swinging like a trapeze in the Lubbock wind. Lubbock, however, is not going to happen.

We are in for a lot of changes over the next several months. I hope I maintain patience and strength and that I get to a place where I am as ecstatic as Nick is about moving. I see things differently than he does and I'm just not completely psyched yet. Another stepping stone move might be necessary which makes for inevitable moves and I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I hold firm to the ideas that everything happens for a reason and that everything will work out in the end. In the meantime, I cannot guarantee how I'll feel about it all right now.

Leaving on My Terms

I saved face a little bit yesterday. I submitted official notice that I will be resigning at the end of the school year. Yes, my contract was on the chopping block, but I feel at peace with ending things on my own terms. It was competely MY decision, no part of my fragile little ego will have to be "terminated," and the uncertainties will now be certain. Mrs. Cobb will close up shop June 3rd. Who wants dibs on the microwave? Now I'm sitting in amazement that that silly little no-brand microwave has lasted since my DORM days...15 years!!! My Whirlpool appliances haven't lasted that long. I better quiet down...I don't want to jinx the thing and have it die before June. :)

Termination

Over the last couple of weeks now, I've been searching for words that would be appropriate and would poignantly express my feelings about being terminated. For someone who often has plenty to say about things, I have just been overwhelmed with so many emotions.

My principal is recommending to the education board that my contract be terminated at the end of this school year. Ouch. The reasoning? Officially it sounds logical: my salary is (the only campus teaching position) fully funded by Title I funds, and those funds are being yanked for the 2011-2012 school year. And that's that. No other teacher, with more or less seniority, is up for termination at this moment, although as many as seven more may hear similar news within the coming month. I was told to explore my options of future employment and was reminded to fulfill my duties--and show up on time each day--through the end of my contractual year. I was a tad insulted. I've been tardy a total of ZERO times in 5.7 years. I was also informed that the school budget was up for review in March and there was a chance my position could be saved with shuffling of funds. After clarifying that today, apparently even IF my position were saved, it would go to any laid-off teacher in the district that had more seniority than me. Yikes. Seniority counts sometimes, but not in others.

Everything was laid out, literally printed in black and white. I am angry. I am sad. I feel stepped on. My spirit is squished. Community, professional, and school family relations, creativity, hours invested inside AND outside the classroom: all of these things are given a definite end in a few paragraphs of print. The district has budget issues, I acknowledge that. However, I don't feel an ounce of value. Paraphrasing, my 10 years (total) of teaching was reduced to there's no longer funding for your salary, I will recommend termination of your contract, and seek other future employment. It was like a bad break-up letter.

I've spent the last six years putting Nick through dental school. There's no secret to that. I gave every ounce of my being into my beloved profession, but ultimately my family came first at the end of my work day. I had to have clear separation. In order to keep some kind of balance, some kind of sane relationships between myself and my children and husband, I had to sacrifice a bit of extra physical time at work. I couldn't fully develop my professional potential, but I did an stellar job under the circumstances. Somehow I managed to earn a nice award, respect among colleagues, and develop excellent raport with the school community. I will never apologize for protecting my time with my family. Some things suffered a bit--test scores never satisfied the administrative hierarchy. That's an entirely different topic worthy of a novel-sized blog entry, but oh-so-not worth my time right now.

I respect my superiors and empathize with them as they make tough decisions regarding funding. It cannot be easy--we are all human with feelings, home/professional circumstances, and pressures. I'm just sad about the situation.

I know the universe has something in store for me. I must be needed elsewhere...maybe in a certain dental office?--maybe in a number of different places. Stay tuned...

I'm Going to Hug My Children a Little Closer Tonight

One of my sweet former student's sister was kidnapped and murdered in Lubbock over the last several weeks. Her family has been through a living hell. Her mother, her amazingly kind brother Kevin, and younger brother (who was just a baby when Kevin was in my class) are now experiencing pain that I can only imagine. My far-removed pain is excruciating. I am just so sad, and so sorry that they're having to go through such a horrific situation.

Cleburne Cafeteria

Today was supposed to be a lucky day being a series of ones...1-11-11. It is also 11 years since my grandparents have been gone. Read on, there's a connection.

I had an offsite professional development day today that happened to be in the Bellaire area. Coincidentally, Nick (and Jeff) also had the day off, had visited a dental office that morning, and happened to not be far from the Bellaire area too! How'd that all work out!? He picked me up and we all met at the Cleburne Cafeteria, a Houston icon of which I'd never been a patron. I'm now their newest fan!

Teasting smells wafted around the curving line of customers waiting to make their selections. I knew I was in for a culinary treat. They had the old fashioned high chairs like the old Piccadilly's and Luby's had during my childhood. They were the ones that would smash the snot out of your fingers if you weren't careful, and might bonk your noggin if that got in the way as the tray came curving overhead. The very same ones! I couldn't believe it! The food selection was abundant and you could tell that each dish was fresh and homemade--even the salads. They had apricot halves in the fruit salad. An artichoke salad. Stuffed peppers that were huge mounds of goodness stuffed into red pepper halves. Only those who pay attention to detail and are mindful of quality stuff red pepper halves. Butternut squash for a side. Yum! I knew I'd be a return customer before I even made it to the side dishes!

We made our choices and neared the shelves of desserts. I nearly cried. I couldn't believe my eyes! They had the old egg custard cups like Luby's and Piccadilly's used to have. Tapioca with a tiny swirl of cream on top. Bread pudding that nearly took the entire loaf to make one serving! The generous portions were a sight to behold, but I could feel the love baked into these delicious creations. The desserts at Luby's now are truly disappointing. Lemon goo pie, chocolate goo pie, strawberry goo--no, not even strawberry goo, just red sugared goo pie, beige goo with meringue on top with a few plasticky coconut flakes to disguise the fact that it isn't coconut custard...and any combination of sponge cake and goo to hold it all together: these are the desserts of today. Mass produced without an ounce of love baked inside.

Our bread pudding today even had real custard sauce on top. Read custard--not goo! I could smooch the owners!

We found our table and were at least half the age of most customers. I just looked around in awe. Being at Cleburne's was a hugely nostalgic experience for me. The drink cart ladies meandered through the rows of tables. The glasses were the old, curvy cafeteria glasses. It seemed perfectly right to anticipate my Meema and Peepa to be approaching the end of the line. They'd be making their way to the table any moment now. It felt perfectly right, except they wouldn't be coming. They couldn't be coming. I felt their presence. Cleburne Cafeteria gave me much more than a meal. It gave me a taste of what a common family get-together delt like a quarter century ago. I came inside a grown woman, and left the doors a grown woman. But while I was inside, I was maybe six, it was after church on a Sunday afternoon, and everything looked, tasted, and felt the way it should have back then.