COBB Family Communicator

Full Tummies, Thankful Hearts

2011-11-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

My life is full of people, items, events, and memories to be thankful for.

*Healthy self, family, and friends
*A brilliant (shhh, don't tell him I said that), confident husband
*Curious, imaginative, loving, and mischievous boys
*Supportive, loving, selfless parents and in-laws who also make the best grandparents!
*Dental school being OVER!
*Old relationships that are new again
*A new nephew who is coming next month!
*A beautiful new house
*A year full of changes, opportunities, and adventures!
*Having more calmness in our lives
*Getting to have weekday lunches with Nick again
*Attending DAYTIME school events with my boys

A Mom Day with Michael

2011-10-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

Short background: Nick was taking Nathan to the country with my dad, thus leaving Michael with me. I worried that Michael would feel left out, so pushed a bit for him to go with them. That would mean I could sneak to Houston (with the dog, my fearless protector and traveling buddy) to SEW baby bed stuff with my mom and Elizabeth. Oh, my machine was roaring-ready to go!

Michael chose NOT to go for 24 hours of the testosterone fest. Squish went the possibilities of sewing. I was a bit bummed, but delighted to spend the time with Michael. Maybe he was more wise than me: we needed some time "just us."

This morning, we scooted out to the World Hunger Relief Farm for their fall farm day. It was our first adventure out there, and definitely WON'T be the last. Super cool place. It makes me sad that I never made it out to Urban Harvest in Houston because it is probably very similar. I must take the boys sometime when we're in town. Farm Day was fantastic. It's a nice sampling of a farm environment.

We went on the hayride, pulled ever so modernly by a Dodge pick-up truck! Awesome! We saw goats, chickens, and turkeys ("happy turkeys" as the hayride dude called them with their days numbered--not so sure how happy they really are). We walked through rows and rows of crops in various stages of growth. We observed, we appreciated, we discovered, we talked. We held hands without protest.

And in the middle of this glorious time together, he randomly stopped, looked up at me, and said, "Mom, farm day is fun." Michael is a man of few words. He speaks when necessary, but it is often thoughtful and profound when he does. Farm Day WAS fun. It was more than just a trip to experience a farm. We needed some time together. And as much as I would've enjoyed some sewing and another dose of Houston, I realize now that what I really needed was a dose of Michael.

On the way home, we stopped for a date at Whataburger--HIS choice, not exactly mine. We came home, he beat me at Checkers, we made and ate brownies, and he's back to piddling around with toys. I'm glad he didn't go with the guys!

Fall is Here!

2011-10-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

I've managed to fill up my "staying at home" schedule pretty well lately. That's a good thing, as I found that sitting idly can be pretty lonely. The weather seems to have taken the final turn from being sweltering hot--90 degrees yesterday--to pleasantly windy and nippy. It is a welcome change.
I spent the morning on a kindergarten field trip with Michael and his class. It was marvelous. I didn't have to take off from work and we had a great time picking out a collection of all the little pumpkins that Michael and my other little traveling friend could carry to the check out.
Lately, I've escaped to San Marcos, had a visit from my cousin, visited the Waco zoo, begun my volunteer job at the hospital, gone on the field trip today, done various chores for the practice (mostly decorating--fun!), and have been preparing to go to Houston this weekend. I think I'll always look forward to going back for a dose of Houston. We have several family events this weekend, and hopefully Nick and I can escape for a date...for real Indian food or something special. This weekend will mark 16 years that we've spent together, counting back to when we started dating.

Adjusting My Perspective in Fry's Parkinglot

2011-09-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

We made a nice little trek down to Austin yesterday to go to the farmers market and celebrate the 3rd birthday of my cousin's twins. Great morning. I had a couple of days over the last few weeks where I was just in a funk. I missed the challenge of working (not the mess of working, just the fun, invigorating, challenging part), I felt pretty isolated and a bit lonely in our new surroundings, lacked a sense of purpose, and just needed to be more content.

I have a blessed life in so many ways, but I feel so grumbly when I get in a funk like that. I truly hate to feel that way. Yesterday, it took just a few seconds for me to refocus my thoughts and be more content. Just a few seconds for me to have more gratitude for the life I have.

We pulled into the Fry's Electronics parkinglot to kill some time before the party. Who can't leave Fry's without finding something? We got out of the car, and the sight before us stopped us in our tracks. It was a rundown, shabby, dented, worn little car. All windows were down and a chipper little dog smiled and greeted us from its perch inside. His sidekick, another tiny mutt of a dog, nuzzled his way up obviously straight from a nap. Cute little things, absolutely filthy car. With each twitch of my eye, the scene became more and more clear. On the dash: among so much other *stuff* was an open (for definitely a few days) can of dog food, partially eaten fast food, a broken hand mirror, rolled up socks, a dingy brush, and a stick of deoderant. The back held a mostly crushed box of cereal, some beat up boxes of what looked to be clothes, a dirty blanket balled up, and countless mounds of things that I couldn't really identify in such a short glance. On top of the mounds was an old, worn out doggy bed.

Someone lived in that little, super compact car.

So many things came to mind. How could I even think about feeling a little bit of discontent? Where is this person tonight? What choices did he make or what circumstances had to happen to ultimately get that person to live in his little car? Is there someone out there who cares about that person that doesn't even know about his homelessness? Why was he parked at Fry's?

Yes, Nick and I have worked hard for the life we have. But, we are so fortunate. So fortunate.

September 11, 2001: Something I Hadn't Really Thought About

2011-09-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

When it was September 11, 2001, I was barely making sense of the world as an adult. In the years since then, there have been many events associated with the aftermath of 9/11. Sacrifice, adjustments, travel interruptions, close-calls with threats, and events that seemed to keep opening America’s wound again and again. I can only imagine the sacrifice of American families—from the heavy losses of that day to the sacrifices made by families of soldiers who have carried out the offensive and defensive missions ever since. Not to mention the loss, vulnerability, and lingering anger that we all probably feel.

I recently found out that one of my former students is a US Marine. I was proud of him before, and I’m incredibly proud of him now. He is now the age I was when he was in my class. I guess I knew this, but it hadn’t really occurred to me until now that many of the young soldiers defending our country NOW were just children when our country was attacked in 2001. Half or more of their lives have existed during these years of war. They WERE the children whose teachers, like me, had to tell them of the surprise attack that morning—and try to make sense of it so that they could grasp some sort of concept of what was happening. The young soldiers of today have gone from innocent children hearing that terrible news to courageous defenders of our country. During the years in between then and now, these children have grown up. They’ve studied, they’ve learned, they’ve trained, and they’ve become our bravest men and women.

When I told my school children about the attacks that day, I never really considered that at least one of those children would be a Marine that would continue that fight ten years later. I didn’t really know what to expect. There was so much uncertainty and fright, and I just had a sucker-punch feeling of our country being so violated. But, somewhere in that room, a young boy sat there whose destiny was directly linked with the military response to those attacks. I’m really humbled by that and humbled by his service to our country.

House Pictures

2011-08-28T06:04:00.001-07:00

First Day of School 2011--10 days later...

2011-08-28T05:40:00.001-07:00

Nathan had stomach butterflies, Michael had teary eyes. A few days into the start of school, Michael realized that this place WAS okay, the people were going to be sweet to him, and he was going to be cared for. The boys' teachers are just as sweet as they can be. I am so thankful to have found a school that values nurturing children. There are smiles and hugs, patience and encouraging attitudes.

Back to Blogging!!!

2011-08-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

I've been stifled by a virtual blogging muzzle lately. The stupid thing would let me type a post and save it, but not post it. I got it working!

Night Before the First Day of School 2011

2011-08-18T07:41:00.001-07:00

'Tis the night before school starts and I'm just as sad as I can be. Could it be true that my baby is going to kindergarten tomorrow? Tomorrow? Tomorrow, five years ago, I was going to the first two days of MY school so I could then go home and have a baby...that same baby that will now be going to kindergarten. We had just moved into the Houston house. Nick was just about to apply to dental school. Nathan was only three--not fixing to go into the THIRD grade.

Look at us now. Dental school is a collection of memories (some pleasant, some pleasantly tucked away in the past). We've moved again (house #6) and settled into a completely new place. I've served my time as a working, frazzled mom and am settling into the infancy of housewifedom. I'm still waiting for the big "Ha! Just kidding!" on that one. Somewhere during those years, my baby grew into a KINDERGARTENER! I just can't believe it.

Both boys have new sets of uniforms. Haircuts today--check! They're going to look so nice. I better go unearth the lunch kits so I'm not scrambling around like a banshee in the morning.

I'm amazed that I get to attend the mothers' breakfast tomorrow at the school. I don't have to rush off to work. I didn't have to ask for time off to take them to the first day of school. I don't have to get docked 15 minutes in pay either.

There is THAT little bit of sweetness about tomorrow, but it will be tough to watch those little boys walk into their new school tomorrow. Pictures--coming soon!

Heavy Heart

2011-08-11T19:24:00.001-07:00

I blogged over a year ago about a former student who had passed away. I hoped that was the first and only time I'd have to get such news. It tore me up. Today, unfortunately, I heard again that one of my kiddos from last year had lost his battle with congenital heart disease. I feel so fortunate to have been a very small part of this child's life. I am glad that his suffering is over. I'm glad that his parents took him out of school to homeschool the last part of the year so they could spend more time together. This is a moment when I feel I should've done more. I get caught up in my own life and don't give enough. Time, energy, a hospital visit, something. Those parents had to live through the death of their child. They had to endure years of watching him go through treatments, illnesses, surgeries, and countless scary moments. They made his moments on Earth really count. I am inspired by their care and devotion to that child and I am just so sorry for their loss.

Practice Pictures

2011-08-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

Crib

2011-06-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

Univ. of Texas Dental Branch Graduation 2011

2011-05-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Oh wow! It was surreal! In a mad dash to get to U of H for the graduation, we forgot the hat and tassle at home and had to make a beeline back to the house. Nick got there in time, we got there in time, we got amazing seats in the balcony, I took enough pictures to rival the paparazzi, and all was good. Really good. Nick looked so distinguished in his robe, hat (he was nearly the only one without the cap), and doctoral hoodie. I have another picture to add to my collection of "US at graduations." This is the third, but the only one where I'm not wearing a matching robe.

No, I didn't earn the DDS, but I feel as much a part of the whole endeavor as Nick is. He rightfully earned the title, the prestige, and the responsibility set forth by that honor. But, somewhere in all of that, I earned an sizable, invisible chunk of it. It has not been an easy six years. That's no secret. I don't mean to whine, but it was definitely more of a challenge than I EVER imagined it would be. While my heart is bursting with pride and a sense of accomplishment, I can never forget the sacrifices made along the way. We've managed, and no doubt the experience has changed us as individuals, as a couple, and as a family.

We'll only know the benefits of our investment as we continue into this world of dentistry. With graduation marking a certain end to the chapter of dental school, it is a certain beginning of the chapter in professional dentistry. WHICH MEANS a move (that's such a little word that involves SO many things), a gazillion boxes, new doctors, new paint colors, trusting a moving company, new patio doors, the new world of homeschooling, transferring EVERYTHING, emotional adjustments (the BIGGEST change of all), and many things that swirl around in my head. None of that even involves the dentistry part, I just realized!

We're ecstatic about Nick's new practice. The office is so cozy and you can instantly tell that the dentist and staff have put a lot of love into its creation. I cannot wait to see how Nick puts his own spin on the place and interjects his personality and skills into it. I know Nick is deeply honored to continue this dentist's life's work.

IIIIIInching Closer....

2011-05-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

It's ironed, on the launch pad, and ready to be worn across the stage on Friday. Yay for me for ironing! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!

One More Step Closer

2011-05-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

Five days and counting to graduation, and 13.5 days remain in my career as a classroom teacher. My list of things to do is slowly getting ticked off. While I am anxious and excited to move forward, I still have stings of sadness about moving. I nearly cry when I go into my Starbucks and Ann, my Starbucks lady knows to start my *regular* whenever I come through the door. Ann won't be coming. My beloved El Rey won't be there for me. Looking out my classroom windows dang near makes me cry. I found out I've already been replaced. Ironically I went to high school (slightly different times, but I recall the name) with my replacement. I'm still trying to figure out how my position couldn't be funded, therefore I would've been terminated in a couple of weeks (I resigned after that inevitable piece of news), and now, low and behold, there's funding for a replacement. The more I try to understand the district, the more frustrated, hurt, disappointed, and betrayed I feel--by my own school.
The universe needs me elsewhere. Waco, in fact! I cannot wait to focus my energy and attention on my own children and my own husband. And me!!! On Friday, I'll be the one beaming with pride in the stands, cheering on my Nick. Inside, I'll be cheering on myself too. It's been quite a ride.

Keeping on keeping on...

2011-05-13T15:01:00.000-07:00

Life events are happening at lightning speed right now. Awards banquet, board exams, graduation, PreK splash day, summer birthdays celebration, field trip, MY SCHOOL wrapping up...
And then there's the combo package of selling this house, buying another, inspecting, packing, showing the house, moving, keeping things tidy, thinking about arranging painters for the future house, finding something to WEAR to graduation. (Dang it, I've had 6 YEARS to find something, but have I?)
Somewhere in all of this, I am teaching all day, comforting little ones with bad dreams at night (is our stress rubbing off on them?), helping the other through painful leg cramps/growing pains, and settling disputes among students. I'm tired, frazzled, spent, and am ready to begin the new post-dental-school chapter of our lives. And, I am ever-so-anxious to slip off on our vacation...a dental school honeymoon of sorts!

Adventures in Waco...Prologue Part 2

2011-05-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

We just got back from spending several days (unpaid leave) in Waco househunting. Househunting with children brings a whole new element of fun to the experience. I must say that they maintained pretty good composure throughout the torture session...I mean house tours.
Michael was enthralled with OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF. One house, our favorite, had an amazing collection of antiques and other cool *stuff.* He tried. I could actually see the little angel and devil on his shoulders and him contemplating whose advice he should take. Walk around and be a good boy...or CHECK OUT OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF. He was gentle (oh my gosh I am glad he was gentle) and it was an innocent curiosity, but I was on pins and needles whenever it would get really quiet.
Nathan seemed to have househunting induced nausea. That was fun. I felt so bad for the little guy, but this was such an important weekend to get some important things accomplished. No mention of nausea at all now that we're home. Could the child be stressed?

We househunted AND got more familiar with Nick's new practice. The three ladies who work in the office are just top notch. It will be a pleasure to get to know them. Thanks to them, I can now say that I know 6 people in Waco...4 from the practice, the dentist's lovely wife, and our realtor.

Adventures in Waco...the Prologue

2011-05-03T18:11:00.001-07:00

And thus begins our third or fourth (or fifteenth) trip to Waco...
We're here with the boys and Barbara. We visited house number 1 out of about 11 this evening (complete with one queasy child, one starving child, and one very pleasant-and always tolerant-mother in law) and quickly X-ed that house off the radar screen. Weird house. It was on a golf course which was moderately cool, and had a super cool boys-could-share-loft-like bedroom upstairs, but the rest of the house was weird. It's like some giant took each room separately, placed it in a salad bowl, jumbled them up and threw them into positions like a bunch of dice. There was no flow at all, was spacious, yet seemed extremely cramped. One good thing, though, is that I realized that I don't have NEARLY as much JUNK as some people. I would have never let someone come into my home if it were in that shape. Stuff everywhere.
I am super anxious to see the other homes. I guess I am anxious to see the home that inspires me to be there for the next gazillion years so I never have to move again. I remember feeling that way once, when we moved into the Norfolk house. We found it on a whim, and weren't even looking to move. But, we saw it, walked in and instantly knew that it was THE place for us.

So many things have gone on lately, but I've barely had time to breath much less blog. I'll catch up, maybe in December! I sure hope we have calm tummies and happy attitudes tomorrow. :)

A Few Recent Photos

2011-05-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

Blogging the Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T03:06:00.000-07:00

I am a sucker for royal weddings. Thirty years ago, I woke up wickedly early, as I did moments ago, to watch Diana and Charles's wedding. I just saw Princes William and Harry ride up to Westminster Abbey and I nearly had tears well up. I can only imagine how much pride Diana would have had today watching her boys walking in together, so regal and adorned with military garb, to the wedding. Then I had a twinge, a mix of sadness and pride, that my own boys will someday walk in together for each of their own weddings. Sigh.
THe queen is wearing canary yellow. Not sure what I think of that. I wonder if they have one fancy Rolls that keeps making the rounds picking people up, or if there are several. Either way, what a slick looking vehicle. It looks like there are several of the Rolls Royces. Classy.
Aaah, the bride just got in her Rolls. Oh, I love weddings.
Oh, I think there's an empty chair at the front in remembrance of Diana. Those boys are grown men. Her dress is beautiful...perfectly fitting for a princess. They must be walking very slowly because the Westminster Abbey is not THAT large. How'd they get trees into the Abbey? Pretty for spring. William isn't turning around to see her come down the aisle. His brother peeked. He just mouthed to her that she looked beautiful. Awww.
Still get a sourness whenever I see Camilla. The empty chair for Diana is next to Camilla. Huh?
Oh, the vows...so solemn. He MUST be more genuine than his father was.
She has a Princess Grace air about her. Very, well, graceful. I've never heard her speak until the vows.
Some of the hats in the audience are pretty creative...some just showy. Oh, the silly hat is worn by one of Fergie's daughters. It's not cute. Both of Fergie's daughters look pretty ridiculous. Fergie isn't at the wedding. I could not have predicted the fate of Andrew's and Charles's marriages when I watched their weddings. I very much wish that William and Kate have more happiness and can enjoy a long, long marriage.
The music is beautiful.
So many of the guests sit sideways in the church down the other wings of the Abbey and I am wondering whether or not they can see ANYTHING. I probably have a better view.
I remember going to Westminster Abbey and seeing all of the intricately detailed architecture. What an amazing place.
William looks very distinguished and Kate is just a perfect looking royal bride. I hope they have the happiness that I'm afraid Diana and Charles never really had. They just looked coyly at each other.
I wonder what the queen's reasoning is for holding on to the thrown for so long. Maybe it's just because she CAN. If she has any class at all, she'd pass up her son and make William the next monarch.
What a beautiful gown. I heard $430,000 was the pricetag. It is so classic and elegant.
I do love the trees.
They emerge from the Abbey. How can she not be bawling? This is just magical. Oh, and there's the carriage. Her smile is amazing...wonder who her dentist is! :)
The carriage ride--how splendid! Every little girl's dream. I think I'm going to cry. I am so glad I woke up to watch.

My Boys

2011-04-10T17:36:00.000-07:00

Spring Break 2011

2011-03-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

There are 61 days until Nick's graduation and 75 until I am a retired teacher...and that's counting the weekends. We began this week more closely resembling slugs, and the week couldn't have ended more eventfully. Plans completely turned upside down, and our entire future just took a drastic turn toward Waco. While Nick has long embraced this idea, Iiiii have shown a range of hesitation from being perfectly fine with it to being perfectly against it. Last night I cried, as Oprah calls it, the ugly cry. This morning I was okay with moving, bordering on perfectly fine with moving. This evening I'm feeling overwhelmed looking around at all of our STUFF and imagining the packing...so the pendulum of wanting/not wanting to move is swinging like a trapeze in the Lubbock wind. Lubbock, however, is not going to happen.

We are in for a lot of changes over the next several months. I hope I maintain patience and strength and that I get to a place where I am as ecstatic as Nick is about moving. I see things differently than he does and I'm just not completely psyched yet. Another stepping stone move might be necessary which makes for inevitable moves and I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I hold firm to the ideas that everything happens for a reason and that everything will work out in the end. In the meantime, I cannot guarantee how I'll feel about it all right now.

Leaving on My Terms

2011-03-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

I saved face a little bit yesterday. I submitted official notice that I will be resigning at the end of the school year. Yes, my contract was on the chopping block, but I feel at peace with ending things on my own terms. It was competely MY decision, no part of my fragile little ego will have to be "terminated," and the uncertainties will now be certain. Mrs. Cobb will close up shop June 3rd. Who wants dibs on the microwave? Now I'm sitting in amazement that that silly little no-brand microwave has lasted since my DORM days...15 years!!! My Whirlpool appliances haven't lasted that long. I better quiet down...I don't want to jinx the thing and have it die before June. :)

Termination

2011-02-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

Over the last couple of weeks now, I've been searching for words that would be appropriate and would poignantly express my feelings about being terminated. For someone who often has plenty to say about things, I have just been overwhelmed with so many emotions.

My principal is recommending to the education board that my contract be terminated at the end of this school year. Ouch. The reasoning? Officially it sounds logical: my salary is (the only campus teaching position) fully funded by Title I funds, and those funds are being yanked for the 2011-2012 school year. And that's that. No other teacher, with more or less seniority, is up for termination at this moment, although as many as seven more may hear similar news within the coming month. I was told to explore my options of future employment and was reminded to fulfill my duties--and show up on time each day--through the end of my contractual year. I was a tad insulted. I've been tardy a total of ZERO times in 5.7 years. I was also informed that the school budget was up for review in March and there was a chance my position could be saved with shuffling of funds. After clarifying that today, apparently even IF my position were saved, it would go to any laid-off teacher in the district that had more seniority than me. Yikes. Seniority counts sometimes, but not in others.

Everything was laid out, literally printed in black and white. I am angry. I am sad. I feel stepped on. My spirit is squished. Community, professional, and school family relations, creativity, hours invested inside AND outside the classroom: all of these things are given a definite end in a few paragraphs of print. The district has budget issues, I acknowledge that. However, I don't feel an ounce of value. Paraphrasing, my 10 years (total) of teaching was reduced to there's no longer funding for your salary, I will recommend termination of your contract, and seek other future employment. It was like a bad break-up letter.

I've spent the last six years putting Nick through dental school. There's no secret to that. I gave every ounce of my being into my beloved profession, but ultimately my family came first at the end of my work day. I had to have clear separation. In order to keep some kind of balance, some kind of sane relationships between myself and my children and husband, I had to sacrifice a bit of extra physical time at work. I couldn't fully develop my professional potential, but I did an stellar job under the circumstances. Somehow I managed to earn a nice award, respect among colleagues, and develop excellent raport with the school community. I will never apologize for protecting my time with my family. Some things suffered a bit--test scores never satisfied the administrative hierarchy. That's an entirely different topic worthy of a novel-sized blog entry, but oh-so-not worth my time right now.

I respect my superiors and empathize with them as they make tough decisions regarding funding. It cannot be easy--we are all human with feelings, home/professional circumstances, and pressures. I'm just sad about the situation.

I know the universe has something in store for me. I must be needed elsewhere...maybe in a certain dental office?--maybe in a number of different places. Stay tuned...

I'm Going to Hug My Children a Little Closer Tonight

2011-01-25T18:22:00.000-08:00

One of my sweet former student's sister was kidnapped and murdered in Lubbock over the last several weeks. Her family has been through a living hell. Her mother, her amazingly kind brother Kevin, and younger brother (who was just a baby when Kevin was in my class) are now experiencing pain that I can only imagine. My far-removed pain is excruciating. I am just so sad, and so sorry that they're having to go through such a horrific situation.

Cleburne Cafeteria

2011-01-11T19:04:00.000-08:00

Today was supposed to be a lucky day being a series of ones...1-11-11. It is also 11 years since my grandparents have been gone. Read on, there's a connection.

I had an offsite professional development day today that happened to be in the Bellaire area. Coincidentally, Nick (and Jeff) also had the day off, had visited a dental office that morning, and happened to not be far from the Bellaire area too! How'd that all work out!? He picked me up and we all met at the Cleburne Cafeteria, a Houston icon of which I'd never been a patron. I'm now their newest fan!

Teasting smells wafted around the curving line of customers waiting to make their selections. I knew I was in for a culinary treat. They had the old fashioned high chairs like the old Piccadilly's and Luby's had during my childhood. They were the ones that would smash the snot out of your fingers if you weren't careful, and might bonk your noggin if that got in the way as the tray came curving overhead. The very same ones! I couldn't believe it! The food selection was abundant and you could tell that each dish was fresh and homemade--even the salads. They had apricot halves in the fruit salad. An artichoke salad. Stuffed peppers that were huge mounds of goodness stuffed into red pepper halves. Only those who pay attention to detail and are mindful of quality stuff red pepper halves. Butternut squash for a side. Yum! I knew I'd be a return customer before I even made it to the side dishes!

We made our choices and neared the shelves of desserts. I nearly cried. I couldn't believe my eyes! They had the old egg custard cups like Luby's and Piccadilly's used to have. Tapioca with a tiny swirl of cream on top. Bread pudding that nearly took the entire loaf to make one serving! The generous portions were a sight to behold, but I could feel the love baked into these delicious creations. The desserts at Luby's now are truly disappointing. Lemon goo pie, chocolate goo pie, strawberry goo--no, not even strawberry goo, just red sugared goo pie, beige goo with meringue on top with a few plasticky coconut flakes to disguise the fact that it isn't coconut custard...and any combination of sponge cake and goo to hold it all together: these are the desserts of today. Mass produced without an ounce of love baked inside.

Our bread pudding today even had real custard sauce on top. Read custard--not goo! I could smooch the owners!

We found our table and were at least half the age of most customers. I just looked around in awe. Being at Cleburne's was a hugely nostalgic experience for me. The drink cart ladies meandered through the rows of tables. The glasses were the old, curvy cafeteria glasses. It seemed perfectly right to anticipate my Meema and Peepa to be approaching the end of the line. They'd be making their way to the table any moment now. It felt perfectly right, except they wouldn't be coming. They couldn't be coming. I felt their presence. Cleburne Cafeteria gave me much more than a meal. It gave me a taste of what a common family get-together delt like a quarter century ago. I came inside a grown woman, and left the doors a grown woman. But while I was inside, I was maybe six, it was after church on a Sunday afternoon, and everything looked, tasted, and felt the way it should have back then.

149 Days

2010-12-22T18:06:00.000-08:00

Countdown to Nick's Graduation: 149 days from today! That's just about 5 months away! I'm already a proud woman, but that will be a glorious day indeed!

Jingle Blog, Jingle Blog

2010-12-22T12:16:00.000-08:00

Michael's Stone Soup, after his field trip to Canino's Farmer's Market

Michael at the Renaissance Festival: he really wanted to go [somewhat controlled] bungie jumping. He actually did it!

My tired Renaissance Festival Man...my knight, complete with dragon :)

HESS Christmas brunch, always a nice time!

Trip to Hermann Park, Japanese Gardens, and the Zoo this morning

I haven't blogged in a while. The first half of December was chocked full of busy-ness. I couldn't begin to ramble long enough about how glad I am to have some time off. I got fairly good news from my doctor yesterday, and another great haircut from my new James. Things are looking up. Nick's prospects are becoming more defined and it looks like things are settling down. So, after a crazy, complicated, depressing at times, frustrating at times, exhausting at times Fall season, things in 2011 are looking up.

I knew we'd get there. I am so glad that I didn't know in 2005 what I do now. I feel like this last semester was the last push to climb to the peak of a mountain. Now, pretty much, we're going to sail into the finish line of dental school.

Right now, I am enjoying the company of my guys. The holidays are wonderful when I'm surrounded by them.

Pie-apalooza

2010-11-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

Today I spent the day hanging out with the boys and making pies. Such fun! I remember the days when making nine or more pies seemed a perfectly normal preparation for Thanksgiving dinner. Meema stirred dressing in an igloo cooler as no bowl was big enough for the volume needed for everybody. One room was dedicated to food-food, while every square inch of the diningroom table was covered in pie.

Halloween 2010

2010-11-03T14:57:00.000-07:00

Recent Photos

2010-10-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

NATHAN's Math Websites

2010-10-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

http://www.ixl.com/math/grade/second/

http://resources.oswego.org/games/mathmagician/cathymath.html

http://www.kidsnumbers.com/addition_timed.php

http://www.kidsnumbers.com/subtraction.php

http://www.paulysplayhouse.com/paulys_playhouse/games/flashcards.html

First Day of Pre-K and Second Grade

2010-08-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

Wonderwild

2010-08-12T12:46:00.001-07:00

For a last HURRAH, I took the boys to Wonderwild. Kids in San Diego should have no trouble playing outdoors, but right now in Houston, it's sweltering hot! Sooo, Wonderwild is a brilliant brainchild of someone who had ME in mind when creating it. It's an indoor play place with a large climbing structure, slides, a giant jumping pillow, an infant area (we've graduated from that one), and a kid-powered train.

It was comfortably crowded when we arrived, but the place was PACKED soon thereafter. Kids everywhere, running...running fast. Big kids, little kids. Kids climbing, kids flopping, kids tripping, kids hopping.

I'm running out of days to be home with the boys and that makes me incredibly sad. What I have to hold on to is a summer that filled me with so many good memories. I love my boys. I love that we can escape and do fun things together.

HOUSE #1

2010-08-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

I finally have a digital photo of House #1! Our first little house seemed HUGE when we built it. We'd have plenty of room for a bunch of kiddos, the two furry babies, and...well...the air would be filled with rainbow sparkles and chirping bluebirds.

We outgrew that house in a matter of months. It was not much more than an apartment on the ground, but it was a great little house.

3742

2010-08-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

3742--That's how many miles we clocked over the last two weeks! We just returned from a minivan journey from Houston to San Diego and back. Hoping that all would go well while we planned the vacation, I was very reluctant, and really just terrified about the possibility that we'd be miserable and hostile over the span of the trip. I could not have been more wrong.
We had 14 days of family bonding that was not at all cheesy. We talked, we played, we explored, we experienced, we shared, and we saw. Together. It was amazing, and we're already talking about the next road trip.

Our Pretty Sadie Girl

2010-08-05T20:22:00.001-07:00

We knew she was getting older and slower, and more frail. Our Sadie girl. Her time with us sadly ended yesterday.

Nearly eleven years ago, her time with us began. She was already 3+ years old and had seen a tough life as a puppy. Mistreated, chained, and neglected, she was rescued from her first home in Kansas. Charlie needed a friend, so somehow we trekked to Oklahoma City--a half-way point between Kansas and Lubbock--and adopted her from a rescue foster parent. She was extremely skiddish and flinched each time we went to pet her. With each day she warmed up to us and realized that we were there to love her and give her a comfortable dog life.

She was always as gentle as gentle could be. She never met anyone whom she couldn't befriend. She never denied any attention, and even pawed at you for it if she felt she needed more. She had an inner clock for mealtime that got earlier and earlier as she got older. She'd bounce and bounce, bark and yelp frantically announcing that it was time to feed her...and Charlie could eat too.

I chided her often for being between my feet while cooking dinner, or sleeping right beside my bed when I'd get up in the middle of the night...always nearly stepping on her. We told her countless times to not circle the table like a shark awaiting crumb spills from the boys. She got her fair share of "Sadie-don'ts!"

Our family is missing a soft piece now. We're missing velvety ears to scratch, and a tummy that never said no to lovin'. We're missing our girl.

Braces Mug Shot

2010-07-19T20:45:00.000-07:00

After 1.5 years with Invisalign and several weeks trying to make a few final tweaks with two brackets, today my ortho resident put on 9 new brackets on my lower teeth. The bracketed teeth (and adjacent soft tissue and bone) feel violated while the UNbracketed teeth aren't jealous of the others at all. I'm ready to be finished with all of this!

Goggle Flashback!

2010-07-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

Left: June 2007
Right: June 2010

Summer

2010-07-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

Start to the Summer

2010-06-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

Happy 11th Anniversary to US!

2010-06-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

Today, eleven years ago, Nick and I were married. He is my best friend, and my love forever.

Nathan is SEVEN!

2010-06-08T12:57:00.000-07:00

Nathan is officially past 6, 6 and a quarter, 6 and a half, 6 and 9/12ths, 6 and 11/12ths, and 6 and 364/365ths. He is officially SEVEN, and although it's a wonderful thing, IT'S AN AWFUL THING! How absolutely dreadful! My sweet, brilliant son is going through the years at lightning speed. I have no problem with my own age. I am perfectly happy everytime I get to take another breath in another day. However, it is hard to be a spectator as I watch my boys grow up.
I should not complain. I am thrilled to be their mother. I am blessed a million times over that they are happy and healthy and fill the world with love...and a few tantrums, but definitely a sizable chunk of love too. Seven, seven, seven, seven, seven. My, my, my.

Divine Dahlias and a Defiant Darling

2010-06-03T13:52:00.001-07:00

Yes, these are MYYYY dahilas! The yellow one is much larger than the purple one in real life. It's 10 inches in diameter! Some of the plants I ordered produced smaller flowers than I expected, but I've enjoyed watching them grow!

And yes, that's my darling, too! He was having a tantrum and I wanted to capture the moment of love on camera.

Houses 2, 3, 4, and 5

2010-06-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

I don't have a digital photo of our first house. I'm working on getting one, but all of our photos from back then were on film.

These others have set the stage for our lives. Some homes came with big trees, some with tiny lollipop trees. Some came in comfortably established neighborhoods, some were the first-born of the new neighborhoods. Two backed up to cotton fields, three backed up to alley ways, one backs up to a pond, one backed up to a wall of poison ivy! In three of them, I've rocked our children to sleep. Three of them, we built. One of them was, no doubt, temporary. One of them we bought on a whim--on the way to lunch one Saturday afternoon. One of them had a basement. All of them housed our dogs. Two of them were small, two were medium-sized, and one was large. Two faced north, one faced east, and two faced south. In one of them, we put up wallpaper. In one of them, we took down a LOT of wallpaper. In three of them, we painted rooms. In four of them were fireplaces...that were never, EVER, used. In each and every one of them, we had gatherings with friends and family. Each home comes with many stories, hard work, indoor improvement projects, outdoor landscaping work, and a ton of memories.

A Few Recent Pictures

2010-05-08T13:41:00.001-07:00

Here are our dear friends Greg and Ewy, and their DARLING little Lucas! Lucas LOVES me, but perhaps loves Grandma a little more! It was such a pleasure seeing them and we feel so fortunate that their family shared their visit with us. I wish we could see them more.

This afternoon I snapped a picture of MY baby sleeping. I know that someday I will look in this bed and see a REALLY big boy. It will be just like seeing him as a tiny newborn bundle in his crib. Then in a blink of an eye, he grew to take up nearly the entire thing! I will miss moments like this--seeing him holding his "D" and sucking his thumb. Such a sweet boy.

ADA Alliance Article

2010-05-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

Here is a link to the ADA news article about the Alliance conference.

http://www.ada.org/news/4016.aspx

Arizona

2010-04-27T14:33:00.000-07:00

I recently returned from the Alliance of the ADA conference in Tempe, Arizona. What a trip! Just like last year, the members "hooked" me into this organization. What an amazing group of dental spouses. I am inspired by their devotion to each other and the dental community. I didn't take photos of the conference, but hope to "borrow" a few once there are some posted on their website (http://www.allianceada.org/). I did, however, capture some shots of the natural landscape. My cousin Nina was a great host and tour guide, and drove us all the way to the Sedona area. It was great getting to spend some time with her. Thanks Nina!

Spring Break with the Girls...and 2 Little Boys

2010-03-18T14:49:00.001-07:00

Such fun! We trekked to San Marcos, TX, to enjoy some rest and relaxation during our Spring Break 2010 week. I can't say that there was much R & R, but we sure managed to have a great time. The new San Marcos Embassy Suites was home base. It was such a nice hotel! The rooms were spacious and comfortable, the lobby was HUGE but inviting with a large fountain and lots of little lounge-y spaces, and the breakfast was a nice start for each morning of our stay. We visited the outlets with a vengeance. We found wineries along the way to Fredericksburg, then spent most of a day meandering through that darling town. A magazine around Christmas time had a heavenly cake on the cover--and it came from RATHER SWEET, a bakery in little old Fredericksburg. Sooo, I had to scope it out. Yes, the goodies were absolutely divine! I even got a t-shirt! Woo hoo! San Antonio is never a disappointment. It would've been better with about 1/4 of the people, but the crowds were expected for Spring Break.

Somewhere in all the fun, we managed to take side tours of playgrounds for the boys to play. We stuck our feet in a yummy, yummy river running through the middle of San Marcos. The water was so clear and cold. I have to hand it to the boys--they did much better than I had expected. Road trips are rough on kiddos, but I love to get out and see the world. Our tummies are full, our credit cards are well-exercised, and the laundry is clean and put away. Spending time together was great. No normally rigid schedules to contend with, nor usual busy-ness of everyday life. Now we jump back in for the last 1/4 of the school year and eagerly anticipate the upcoming summer!

Coach Leach interview with ESPN

2010-01-01T16:06:00.000-08:00

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=4788146

Here is a link to a lengthy, but telling, interview with Mike Leach. Ironically, it is from ESPN. Maybe this was a consolation prize so he doesn't legally go after them, too. Either way, it is a good interview. It is a crying shame that the regents had it in for Leach when his program was basically the face of the university. I am all for universities focusing on academics, but his program was the catalyst for the huge fan base, the expansion into the national spotlight, the notoriety, and the alumnal (is that a word?) pride. I question the regents' and the administration's wisdom, leadership, and loyalties. It is all such a scam.

Grieving for Tech

2009-12-30T13:10:00.000-08:00

The face of Tech football, our quirky pirate coach, has been scammed. Here are some published comments because I don't even feel like coming up with my own words to express my thoughts about all of this. I am so depressed.

1. I will be adopting whatever school Leach ends up at. I encourage everyone else to follow.

2. Hello 3 -- 9 seasons, we missed you.

3. Bust out the All-American Bowl t-shirts...not even that. Maybe the Uncle Joe's Pizza Parlor Bowl shirts...at best.

4. I'm not only stunned, but a bit near teats. This is very upsetting.

5. I'm turning in my guns, and walking away from a program I've loved for forty plus years. Tech wrecked him!

6. Man, if this had happened during the semester I would expect the streets of Lubbock would look like those in Baghdad. It's gonna get ugly in West Texas.

7. It's official. I'm not getting any work done today.

8. Good Lord, we even have Aggies on our side!

9. Back to being a women's basketball school...and they're not even that great.

10. The highwater mark for Tech football will be visible somewhere in the empty stadium expansion.

11. Can Marsha Sharp coach football?

12. Just think, season ticket renewals are coming out in 6 weeks...Maybe they already printed Leach's face on them!

13. Coogs, lock up Sumlin now!

I'm just glad I didn't sign us up for the Alaskan "Cruise with the Coach" this coming summer. Maybe he'll still go! It would be a great trip. Wherever he ends up, sign me up as a fan! Looks like we'll be getting a new slew of t-shirts! Oh, I am so depressed.

Cockrell Butterfly trip with Michael

2009-12-29T12:44:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite places in Houston is the Cockrell Butterfly Center at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. Nick wanted to take Nathan to the Planetarium, and I knew Michael would be more interested in watching plants grow than being in there...sooo, I took him down the hall to see the butterflies.

Nancy Grieg is one of those people who I'd like to befriend. I met her just a couple of times and I instantly liked her! She is head curator and entomologist at the Cockrell Butterfly Center. Back when the neighborhood around West 11th Street Park was trying to SAVE the park, she guided my students through the park on a walking tour. It's an easy walk to this park...so why do we not do that more often? Darn testing. She was so kind and kid-friendly, and really made the nature walk come alive for all of those urban kiddos--and ME! What a neat lady! Anyway, she was at the Cockrell Center yesterday. Except yesterday, she was patrolling the center carrying around a giant orange IGUANA! How cool! Michael stepped right up for his turn to see the iguana AND pet it! He had no reservations, no skiddishness, no fear. I am proud of that quality in Michael. The butterflies, by the way, were SUPER COOL too. I was so jealous of this woman sitting in the butterfly center just sketching little butterfly scenes in her sketch book. I'm going to put that on my bucket list...Sketch butterflies at the butterfly center instead of chasing after a preschooler! HA!

Big Boy Bed

2009-12-21T18:42:00.001-08:00

I love that my Michael is growing and changing into a big boy. And, I hate it at the same time. Our house looks a little bit different than it did last month. We donated the high chair. We bought a full mattress. We converted Michael's crib into a full size big-boy bed. Gone is the crib. Well, some of the crib's skeletal remains are again tucked up in the attic. Today we packed up more baby clothes. They're up there too.
When we packed up all of these things when Nathan was growing up, it was sad for me. Yes, it was sad. But, there was more of a chance then that those things would eventually come out of their hibernation at some point than there is now. THAT is the sad part. Will I someday bring out these things again for a third go around? Or are they retiring for good? Why did my years with babies in the house go by so wickedly fast?
Right now, my sweet little boy is sleeping in a monster of a bed. I remember when his crib seemed huge compared to the itty bitty newborn swaddled inside.

Christmastime Brunch

2009-12-13T12:19:00.000-08:00

Christmas Card Photo

2009-11-29T18:31:00.000-08:00

If it were up to my boys, there would be no Christmas card photo. There probably wouldn't be any Christmas cards. Except for those on the store shelves waiting for someone else to buy them. Why do I feel like I am going into battle to get them to pose for a few snapshots? Smile. Be sweet to your brother. Just for a minute. OK, pretend to be sweet. Look here. No, not down there...or over there...don't poke him...or strangle him...AAAAAAH!

I think Nick is a double agent, secretly working for the enemy. He isn't all fired up over the process either. They sense his "excitement."

I remember, back in the day, when I could gently place Nathan under the Christmas tree. His eyes filled with wonder seeing all the lights and ornaments. He sat there while I snapped probably a hundred photos. He never complained, never fidgeted. We'd take some more on the brick hearth, and even more outside in the yard. He so patiently put up with this obsession.

Now, fast forward. I'm lucky to get 5 shots to choose from. "Lean together" translates into "who can leeeeean enough to knock the other off the step stool." "Hold this candy cane" becomes "wouldn't it be a jolly good time to WHACK my brother with this candy cane?"

Just when I was about to tear my hair out, they both smiled, AND looked at the camera, AND didn't do anything for one split second to annoy each other, ANNNND I caught it all on film...well, digital film, or digital whatever that captures those magical moments. They do love each other, and there are many moments when they are sweet as pie with each other. Until I want to take Christmas pictures. But now, I have one to smile about. But, ohhhh, the anguish that it took to get it! :)

Pretty Flower and Pretty People

2009-11-22T09:05:00.000-08:00

I like to consider Mike and Cindy my own personal friends, but they've been dear friends with my folks since before I was even around. They don't come to Houston often, but nor do I make it to west Texas very much either. They're coming tonight for supper and I am so excited! My boys get to meet them, and it will be so nice having them in the house tonight for a get-together. So much time passes in between our visits, but it is always nice to see them and catch up. Such wonderful people!

Weekend Moments

2009-10-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

It's tough when your dad is a soon-to-be-dentist and you have a loose tooth. In Nick's defense, the dern tooth hung on by a microfiber for months it seemed like. But, it came out...on its own in good time. Nick tried to persuade Nathan to let him perform services, and I know it took restraint. I'm sure he could've gone in there with precision accuracy and lobbed it out before I could blink, but thankfully he heeded to Nathan's concerns and my mother tigerness that was going to pounce if he stepped too far away from the "daddy" line and into the "dentist" territory! :) He's a good dad, and let it take its course.

Nathan was blabbering to Michael. I was in the livingroom. They were playing back in Nathan's room and he was in the middle of giving Michael specific, strategic directions for something. In mid-sentence I hear this "AHHH"--not "there's a bug" urgency in the pitch, and it wasn't directed at his brother either. He later said that just seeing the tooth on the ground is what spooked him first. The duty had been done. His first tooth had just popped out in the middle of his talkin'! There was no tugging, floss/door drama, extraction pliers, nothing.

It happened to coincide with Pawpaw Dean's birthday, too! Happy Birthday Dad! My mom wrapped up grandson presents for my dad and the boys' faces were confused-elated to see the surprises inside!

Last night, to Nick's COMPLETE shock and surprise, the tooth fairy had fluttered in sometime before morningtime! How does she keep track of all those kids with all of those teeth??? She must be incredible! Don't you love the FLAME tooth fairy pillow? It's so dainty and frilly and fairy-ish. Ugh.

This Weekend

2009-10-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

A COOOOL and wet weekend it has been. We spent two great days with all of the grandparents this weekend. Saturday, we zipped on over to the Houston Zoo with Barbara and Odis. It was almost too cold. Maybe I should not have worn sandals and short sleeves. We had such a nice morning visiting the animals and walking around together. Burgers and cookies topped off the field trip. Yum!
Today, we woke up early and drove to Columbus. It started raining about the time we were on the beltway flyover, and despite my hopes that it would cease, it continued. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Nathan got car sick at the breakfast stop. And, I wasn't so thrilled to be amongst the target shooting practice. However, the bonfire was warm, the jackets slicked off the rain for the most part, and we enjoyed a nice picnic. After toes got damp and too cold enough to stand, we packed up and came home. The boys sure did enjoy the 4-wheeling, fishing, throwing stuff into the fire, and playing in the mud.
This old mama is tired. A fun, busy weekend of family togetherness and it was fun. I hope the coolness sticks around a bit longer!

Some Recent Photos

2009-10-07T18:02:00.000-07:00

Cobb Caterpillar Conservatory

2009-09-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

A species of sulpur butterfly is sowing its oats all over my candlestick plant. I'm not sad about the caterpillars' slow destruction of my beautiful candlestick flowers and leaves because the plant served as the dating locale for their parents in the last several months. Ever since this plant was not much more than a stick in the ground with a few cute leafy stems, there have been two little buttercup yellow butterflies skittering about. It has been a frequent dance routine. In the mornings, we'd see the flittering. They'd land for a blink of a sip of nectar, then go about their fluttering.

Somewhere in the dancing steps, somebody deposited eggs that have now grown into yellow butterflies. I am not familiar with these as much as I have become with the monarchs since just across the yard, there lies a milkweed heaven that a few months ago was bustling with monarch caterpillars.

My first glimpse this morning was from the bedroom window. The caterpillar's contrast against the leaves caught my eye from clear inside the house. Upon closer observation, other siblings were there too, more camouflaged. I looked up candlestick plant caterpillars and there is strong resemblance, although slight differences between my little sulphur offspring and the model online. The others were from up north. I was happy to connect the caterpillars with the butterflies that had so daintily (is that a word?) flitted around the plant before.

Reading over my caterpillar commentary, I'm now wondering if I am a complete dork. Do I have a million other things I should be doing right now? SURE! Did my Saturday morning come to a screeching standstill because of a caterpillar? Yep. But, do you see the caterpillar INSIDE the candlestick flower? So cool.

Some thoughts...

2009-08-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

1. I get to pick up the boys on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Although it makes the commute longer, I love being there to pick up my own children.
2. My three new classes worth of children are going to be fun. We have a neat group of kiddos. It should make for an enjoyable year.
3. Friday night was funny. I called a "family out to dinner" night because we had been too busy during the week to do ANYTHING. Once we vetoed fast food and some other places with Friday night wait times, Nathan emotionally pulled for Luby's. How original. On the way, we weighed some other more-tempting locales, but NO, NO, NO, we HAAAAD to go to Luby's. We get to Luby's, go through the line, sit down in a whirlwind from getting the RIGHT milks, a share-able dessert, choosing a table, getting TO the table, greeting the hypervigilant waitress (I still wish they had the cart ladies instead of waitresses) who is trying to empty my tray (I appreciate the help, but I don't want Michael to really see that Nathan got chocolate milk while he chose the blue carton because of quite possible, if not inevitable meltdown. Plus, I can empty my own tray.) Anyway, we sit down with a humph and no sooner than I unroll my napkin to withdraw my utensils do the boys start in with I'm not really hungry and the I just don't want to eat...ANYTHING business. Somehow we managed to live through it. There were a few moments of peace, and those felt good. Thankfully my mom came over Saturday and we escaped for a date.

My Baby is THREE!

2009-08-22T19:21:00.001-07:00

While fast asleep in pleasantdreamland , Michael completed his third year of life and began his fourth. I'm so excited to see him grow and change, but so sad to see him grow and change. I love my Michael.

Back in the Saddle

2009-08-11T18:04:00.000-07:00

I reported back to school yesterday. For the next many days we are jam-packed with meetings and trainings and updates of trainings. I'd much rather be working in my classroom or teaching.
Coming back to school, I am reminded of the scheduling craziness, testing lovefest, and the little blips of nonsense that seem to pop up here and there. I do love my job. I love the people I work for and work with, and the children who fill my days with eagerness, excitement, and...well, challenges! I got so much accomplished yesterday while working in my room, and I am anxious to get back to that. I am working my way back to getting up at 5AM. Yesterday it was 6:00, today it was 6:15; ok, so I am working away from the normal time, but I'll get there. Now, I must insert time for lunches, getting children readied, and gathering all of our paraphernalia that comes along with us. The first day last year (was it last year?), I got everything except Michael's shoes. And for the next week or two (0r two months) I'd forget something or another pretty often. Tomorrow we meet Nathan's teacher...that's exciting!

Alaska Aficionado

2009-08-06T14:45:00.000-07:00

We are all-to-quickly back from our trip to Alaska. If I called it incredible or amazing, that would seem so bland. The trip did exactly what it was intended to do: Nick and I got some time to be a couple without the maintenance of our sons' brotherly dynamics, AND we experienced some of the absolute best scenery the world has to offer. The final goal of the trip was to give us a booster, a collection of memories, to get us through the next few years of school, school, tests, housework, school, boys, school, boys, and school. Here are a few photos of the trip. I love Alaska!

A Little Afternoon Drama

2009-07-23T13:49:00.000-07:00

On my way home today (an hour ago it has already been?) my dad calls telling me that ADT called HIM about MY house. The master bedroom window had been "breached," which I figured out quickly that meant broken, opened, or SOMETHING not good. Somehow I drove sanely for the few miles remaining. All of the sudden a curtain of SUPERSTRONG rain showers poured onto the van. Hmmm, perhaps it could've been the rain that jolted the window and triggered the alarm. Thankfully, I was right. I beat the sheriff to the house by a few minutes. I could see at least one dog in the front window, but having the boys in the van, I didn't want to approach the house. I guess if the boys had not been in the van, I STILL would not have wanted to approach the house. How our house is situated to where I can see the back facing the retention pond. From what I could tell, no windows along the back were broken or open. Things were looking up. The sheriff arrived and stood guard by the boys in the van (in the rain, bless his heart) while I went and checked the house. I would've sent him in, however, Charlie would've chewed him up and spit him out. No broken windows, open windows, forced open back doors, or even any unlocked windows or doors. I looked at the weather radar once we had the all-clear and sure enough a dark maroon spot of storms formed right over our neighborhood out of nowhere and must have revved its engines just enough to rattle the windows and trip the alarm. For some reason I am still rattled myself. Thank you Mr. Sheriff for helping me keep my home safe.
Now that I think about it, I didn't enter the house with a shovel or something. I just went right in. Ah, the life lessons.

More Summer Photos

2009-07-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

Holy-Bubbles-Batman! Michael was again quiet for too long today. Come to find out, he was "making bubbles" in the bathroom sink. He got soap in the sink, pulled up the drain plug, and had the water a-blastin'. He was having the best time, but thankfully I sensed unbalance in the atmosphere. Oh, how glad I was to NOT have Niagara Falls in the bathroom! Michael loves waterfalls almost as much as bubbles!

Circus = Orange Juice

2009-07-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

We're trying to keep quiet a super-covert operation around here today. Nathan is going with his dearest friend to the Circus's opening night tonight and we JUST CAN'T GO AROUND ANNOUNCING THAT TO MICHAEL. It's weighing big-time on his mind. He is giddy about going and can't stop blabbering about it. Hmmm. How would a superhero handle this? Code talking! We had to come up with something because everytime Michael heard "circus," he blurted out, "I wanna go circus." Nathan and I came up with a code word for circus: ORANGE JUICE. Now it is absolutely hilarious to see Michael's expression when Nathan says something like, "I can't wait to go to ORANGE JUICE tonight," or "How long until I go to ORANGE JUICE?" I hate to deceive my younger darling, but it's for his own good. I rarely get alone time with Michael when Nathan is away, so I am looking forward to that this evening. As much as I am treasuring my time at home with both of them this summer, I still love the alone-time with each one.

Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

We will never truly know if Michael Jackson was a creep or not. People can speculate until they're blue in the face, but I'd like to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Odd, mysterious--I agree that these are suitable adjectives of him.
An extraordinary entertainer and artist...definitely. I was so sad to hear about his death yesterday. I saw conflicting reports: one of his death, and one reporting his collapse and comatose state. I don't wish comas on anyone, but I was pulling for that report to be more true than that of his death. It was sad ot me that he spent the first part of his life with great fame and fortune. The latter part of his life was clouded with creepy undertones, personal attacks, health problems, and introverted hermit behaviors. He still remained famous, but much had changed.
When I was six, my dad took me to the Thriller concert at the Astrodome. I remember parts of the concert pretty well. He was all the rage, and his theatrical choreography and music just pushed the limits of popular music. I can imagine a little girl with blond pigtails dancing around the house singing Thriller and Beat It.
I'm not really a fan anymore, but when his songs blip onto the radio pretty rarely, I sing along. It's just sad to know he is gone.
It is just really sad.

Some Recent Funnies

2009-06-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

1. Nathan is OBSESSED with Magic Tree House books. I didn't quite understand the depth of the OCD until he rattled off 40 out of the 42 book titles, in order, and categorizing them by whether they were his from the book fair, mine from my class library, on loan from this public library or that one. He was very distraught about forgetting two of them, and raced to the computer to google the titles. Weird.

2. While Nathan is rattling off the book titles, Michael wants in on some fun and attention. He sat with us in the kitchen, in his high chair, eating a spice cookie. He keeps shouting, "CHICKEN! CHICKEN!" What? Nathan rambled on, book number yada is yada yada, blah blah blah. CHICKEN! Michael, you're eating a cookie not a chicken. "Mommy, it wooks wike a CHICKEN!" Sure enough my brilliant little toddler was correct. He bit that little cookie into the shape of a chicken. A cookie cutter couldn't have been any more precise. So, I have a Magic Tree House book savant, and a poultry shaped cookie biting master. Oh, the intelligence runs rampant in this house! HA!

3. There's a children's poem by Jack Prelutsky called I'm Being Eaten By a Boa Constrictor. This morning, I swear, I was being eaten, chipped away, by the ENDLESS talking of a six-year-old. There's was a really cute commercial not too long ago where this little girl was juuuust a-talkin'. This, that, saying just about everything about nothing. Nathan is a talker, most definitely, but this morning he was REEEEEALY pushing it. I love to hear the creativity that comes out of his mouth. He beams with ideas, excitement, and wonder, but there must have been some atmospheric pull this morning that had his little mouth gushing out as many words as he could physically form. The house is really quiet right now, though. He found a Magic Tree House book-on-CD at the library and darn near busted a gut with excitement the other day. He's in the other room listening...perfectly still...quiet...aaaaah!

Oh, the really dark photo in the post just before this one is of Nathan reading in bed--yep, a Magic Tree House book--in the dark, by the light of his super cool, flip up LED book light. He loves it. So, so cute, but he IS obsessed!

Sheets + Chairs = SOOO Much Fun!

2009-06-22T07:54:00.001-07:00

What can I DOOOOO? There's nothing to DOOOOO!

We have enough toys for a small country worth of children, and somehow we're lacking fun.

Nathan wants to set up Battleship. Great. However, we have Michael whose battle tactic would be WAY more destructive that sinking a few ships. We'd have little red and white game pellets all OVER the house. Battleship is better when Michael is napping--which he is not at the current time.

Zoo Game? Nope. Pieces, cards, shiny little circle things...also better for when Michael is napping.

I've done a nice job changing up routines this summer, making time to spend with each son individually (often while the other is at school) and still having lots of together time. This morning it is "back to basics." I enlisted some kitchen chairs and a few sheets. They're having the grandest time. They've manage to drag in EVERY SINGLE STUFFED ANIMAL that we own, blankets, play costume stuffs, and an occasional dog who will manage to sneak into the new, odd structure in the living room.

Here are a few pictures: one is of the "tent" and some others are of our summer experience so far! (I took a photo of Michael sleeping in his crib...notice the difference compared to his infant picture from 2006!)

The Letter A

2009-06-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. . .nothing made up!
1. What is your name: APRIL
2. A four Letter Word: ABLE
3. A boy's Name: ALEXANDER
4. A girl's Name: ALLISON
5. An occupation: ANESTHESIOLOGIST
6. A color: APRICOT
7. Something you wear: APRON
8. A food: ARTICHOKE
9. Something found in the bathroom:
10. A place: ALASKA
11. A reason for being late: ACCIDENT
12. Something you shout: AAAHHHH!
13. A movie title: ANNAPOLIS
14. Something you drink: AGUA
15. A music group: ABBA
16. An animal: AMERICAN ALLIGATOR
17. A street name: APRIL STREET in Houston
18. A type of car: ACCORD
19. The title of a song: KOKOMO
20.A celeb/singer/actor/actress/athlete/famous person: AVRIL LAVIGNE

One Polarized Potty Reaction

2009-06-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

I JUST got finished with my bantering to Elizabeth today about how potty training wasn't going as well as I had hoped it would for my summer job. Michael was just totally uninterested, and quite avoidant of the whole process. No big deal. After all, he still has until the end of August before he turns 3. I'm not hung up on a child being fully trained by the time they're 6 months old or anything. Nor do I want him waiting until he goes to high school. It has really become a non-issue. I figured we'd give it another shot later in the summer.

I've really enjoyed being the one who does the school dropping off and picking up. I waltzed into his classroom today, and no sooner had I shut the door did one of the teachers announce to the room that Michael had just tee-teed in the potty.

WHAT!?!?!?!?

My Michael? I hadn't even completely scanned the room to find him amongst the other kids and toys. My son? The "Do you want to go to the potty?--uhhh, NOPE" kid? My simple, one word "WHAT!?!?!?!?" reaction held such a complicated meaning.

Surprise, Amazement, Proud Mama, Woo-hoo, Happiness, annnnnnd...

Deep, empty sadness.

I'm holding on to little frazzled strands of baby-ness in my house. They're so few and far between at this point; I think I'm just keeping things around for visual stimulation of what it's like to have a baby around. I didn't think my years of mommying baby-aged children would start to end so, so quickly.

10 Years in a Blink

2009-06-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

I don't reflect upon our years of marriage using measurements of time. More often I measure our marriage by the events that we've collected to form the story of our lives. It all began in our Spanish teacher's classroom, well not exactly. We met in the halls of our middle school having some friends in common. Our relationship began in the fall semester of our senior year, when our Spanish teacher would allow some of us to dine in her classroom instead of experiencing the rugged chaos of the high school cafeteria. We dated, fell in love, attended prom together, graduated together, and moved away to college (520 miles away) together (much to my father's chagrin). Tomorrow, ten years ago, I was Nick's bride and he was my groom.
Here is a look back at the last ten years.
June 12th, 1999: our special, special day
Visited Massachusetts and (mostly) Maine for our honeymoon
Lived with four other guy friends while we waited for our house to be completed
Bought and raised our first furry baby, Charlie, a golden retriever puppy born on our wedding day
Moved into House #1
Cruised the Mexican Riviera
Adopted our second furry child, Sadie, a rescued golden retriever from Kansas.
Grew out of House #1. Quickly.
Graduated from Texas Tech University, May 2001
Became employed
Built and moved into House #2, became landlords of House #1
House #2 had a super-cool basement
Two miscarried pregnancies in one year, man 2001 was an awful year,
Bought some acres in Shallowater, TX, to someday live on forever
Drove through a neighborhood on our way to lunch one Saturday, stumbled upon House #3.
Cruised the Mediterranean Sea to soothe our sadness, see spectacular sights, and give our happiness a rebirth
Moved into House #3, what a glorious house!
Tore out lots of wall paper.
Sold Shallowater property. It would've been a flat, grassy money pit.
Pregnancy #3: Apprehensive for every minute, complicated pregnancy, unimaginably happy outcome
Nathan Nicholas Cobb, our first son was born!
I dreamed motherhood would be amazing, but I soon learned that it surpassed all of my wildest expectations.
Nick traveled like CRAZY with his job.
I did not teach the year after Nathan was born.
Nick, Nathan, and I temporarily relocated to Cincinnati, Ohio to be closer to Nick, 3 ½ months
Another year of Nick traveling, me working, and Nathan now in childcare
End the school year with a trip to Houston for Andrew's college graduation
Grandparents watch Nathan while we go to Churrasco's for a date
Dinner conversation: Let's jump ship, totally transform the life we know now.
Traveled to Colorado for vacation, road trip!
Quit jobs, sold house, moved to Houston where Nick would prepare, apply, and go to dental school—we hoped!
We moved TO Lubbock with all of our things fitting comfortably in the backs of our two little Ranger pick-ups. Moving BACK to Houston, after giving away SO much to our neighbors, we loaded up two vehicles, jam packed, and I can still picture the movers heaving shut the back door of the 54 foot humongous trailer.
Rented House #4, a tiny little thing with a great location. We tripped over boxes all year.
Began working at my old elementary school
Built House #5
Moved into House #5
Nick completed leveling courses, DAT testing preparations, and acceptance into dental school. All of that seems so trivial written in one line.
Pregnancy #4
Michael William Cobb, our second son, was born.
Nick begins dental school
Barbara manages much of the boys' care.
Cruise to Alaska for Barbara's birthday, more amazing that I could've ever imagined
Since then, work, school, backpacks, lunches, late nights, early morning, finals, grades, lesson plans, bedtime stories, playroom disasters, high chairs, cuddle times, yard work, house chores, and the list goes on.
I love our life. It's just how I expected it to be, and yet there are surprises all of the time. I have an amazing husband, two jewels of children, I am healthy and happy. What more could I ask for? There is no rush for time, but I cannot wait to see what the years ahead have in store for Nick and me!

50 Questions that I Stole from Leslie

2009-06-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

50 Questions
1.What color is your toothbrush?Hmm. We have about a dozen of them on the counter…seriously. Nick is doing his own consumer product testing. We have two electric toothbrushes, about eight different manual toothbrushes, and two or three others that we use to clean our ortho trays. The boys’ bathroom counter displays two electric ones with suction cup bottoms (those are great), a manual dolphin one, Tigger one, Cars ones, and another one that has a little footed stand. Some of us have a little OCD about toothbrushes, but I guess that is going to be our life from now on.
2. Name one person who made you smile today:My boys: all of them!
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?I was cleaning up the house, trying to get it back to its pre-party state.
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?Stilll cleaning up.
5. What is your favorite candy bar?I like PayDays. I think those are the ones with peanuts and yummy insides, but maybe it’s something else. I’m not too much of a candy person, but I DO have other weaknesses.
6. Have you ever been to a strip club?Nope.
7. What is the last thing you said aloud?Nathan, can you get Michael’s “D” out of his bed? He can’t reach it. I think that darn dinosaur jumps back into that crib all the time just so Michael can’t reach it.
8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?Pumpkin ice cream at Thanksgiving time.
Blue Bell must have changed their mint chocolate chip. It used to be better.
I’ll have sweet cream with Reese’s peanut butter cups about once a year too.
9. What was the last thing you had to drink?I had pomegranate lemonade last night with dinner. Water this morning.
10. Do you like your wallet?Yes, it’s green. I have too many cards in it, though. It needs to be cleaned out.
11. What was the last thing you ate?Cheerios Crunch.
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?No, but I would love to go shopping. Nick seems to NOT share that feeling. He needs some clothes for the trip, though. Again, he begs to differ.
13. The last sporting event you watched?I’m waiting for football season. Go TECH!
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?I don’t like popcorn unless it comes in Harry and David’s moose munch. Wicked stuff. I stay away from it unless I’m at the outlets.
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?My name is April Cobb and I don’t know how to text. I don’t really want to know how. I have enough things that keep me busy.
16. Ever go camping?I prefer to camp inside a hotel room.
17. Do you take vitamins daily?No.
18. Do you go to church every Sunday?No. I cannot remember when I went to church when it wasn’t a wedding or something.
19. Do you have a tan?No.
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?I like good Chinese food and I like good pizza. Nick likes all kinds of stuff on his pizza and I like mine pretty plain. I like Moo Shoo pork without onions and mushrooms. Basically just the pork and a few sprouts, egg, and sauce. They always look at me funny and Nick usually sighs in disgust.
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?I don’t really like sodas.
22. What did your last text message say?See #15. I get texts from the cell phone people every once in a while about upgrades or something. I don’t even know how to retrieve them. Again, Nick sighs in disgust.
23. What are you doing tomorrow?Hmmm, spending the day with Nathan. Michael goes to his school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
24. No question 24.Do I make up my own? Yes, I did have a Speak-n-Spell when I was growing up.—ME TOO!
25. Look to your left, what do you see?One of the front windows to the house. The shade is down because workers are building the house across the street.
26. What color is your watch?No watch. I use my cell phone for the time.
27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?I’d love to see the Sydney Opera House, but what a crazy long flight that would be.
28. What are you listening to right now?The house is quiet and the dishwasher hums quietly. Aaaah.
29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?We go into Chick fil A so the boys can play until they crash! It’s has the only somewhat clean playground and decent food.
30. What is your favorite number?I don’t really have a favorite number, but I think it’s super cool when I find patterns or meanings within numbers. Such as, when Nick had his birthday in 2002, his birthday was 02-20-2002. For our college graduation, we went to Ruidoso with both sets of our parents. Our hotel room was 612 (our anniversary is 06-12), my parents had 613 (there anniversary is 06-13), and Nick’s folks had 614 (you guessed it, their anniversary is 06-14). I like that my boys both have the same number of letters in their names. Nathan and Barbara celebrated their birthdays on June 6. On the 6th of June, Nathan turned 6, and Barbara turned 6-2 (sounds like six, too when you say it). I’m weird with numbers.
31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?Nick. He sounded like a kid in a candy store when he called out of the blue from school this morning. He had just placed his first dental implant into a synthetic jaw. YUM! He was so cute and excited about it, though.
32. Any plans today?Oh, Leslie I wish you could take Nathan to “UP”. He wants to see it. I think we’ll hang out around the house today. We hiked in the Sam Houston forest yesterday. It was fun, but I sure wish I could KNOW FOR SURE that we wouldn’t see bobcats along the trail before we started. I like hiking. HOWEVER, I don’t like to have to think about what I would do if I saw something with claws or fangs along the way.
33. How many states have you lived in?Texas, Texas, Texas. El Paso, Houston, Lubbock, and back to Houston. Hopefully staying in Houston, but that will take some convincing and LOTS of money to afford a nicer house.
34. Biggest annoyance right now?It’s summer, I am a teacher, and I have no complaints.
35. Last song listened to?Michael trying to sing “Deep in the Heart of Texas”…it’s precious.
36.Can you say the alphabet backwards? very slowly, I guess.
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?I tease that she keeps leaving the country. We used to have Eulean, bless her heart. She would not move from Lubbock to Houston. I miss her like crazy.
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?Clarks sandals.
39. Are you jealous of anyone?those whose spouses just graduated from dental school without any loans to repay.
40. Is anyone jealous of you?Ooh, that’s a weird question. I hope no one is jealous of me, but if they are, hopefully it is because I love the life I have been given and the life I have helped to create.
41. Do you love anyone?My heart belongs to my family.
42. Do any of your friends have children?Yes, but I look forward to having more children in the family.
43. What do you usually do during the day?During the school year it is nothing but hustle and bustle. Early mornings to late nights, schedules, cleaning, cooking, readying two youngens for school, for bed, etc. During the summer, although there are things to be done and some things scheduled, we are much more relaxed. You can eve n feel the absence of tension in the house.
44. Do you hate anyone?Yes, but thankfully it is no one close to me. I am very fortunate.
45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?Probably.
46. What color is your car?Black.
47. Do you like cats?I like cats, but I can’t be around them.
48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
I’m thinking about how Michael is starting to solicit my attention, with increasing volume.
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?I’ve been to Astroworld, but it closed some time ago. We liked Sea World for the water and whales. I’m not really into rollercoasters, but I have a feeling that Michael will be!
50. How did you get your worst scar?My biggest scar is not a physical one.

Cinnamon Rice

2009-06-03T16:32:00.001-07:00

I had a hankerin' for something today: cinnamon rice. Well, my best rendition of it anyway. My Meema used to make cinnamon rice (it's only rice pudding with a different name). She made it often, but never did I make it with her. I wish I had the recipe. I can get close, as I did tonight, and it was quite tasty. Both boys turned and wrinkled their noses up at it which was kind of sad, but it was a nice blip of nostalgia.

Lounge-y Lounge-y

2009-06-03T16:26:00.000-07:00

Michael has watched one Thomas the Train episode probably 10 times today. What do we have to do? Where do we have to be? It's such a pleasure to be at home with the boys. We'll get into summer activities, but I think the boys are enjoying the vegging out (for a couple of days) as much as I am!

Aaaaaaah!

2009-06-02T13:32:00.001-07:00

Sigh. The school year is over and again I am reminded that, YES, I'd be a darn good stay at home mom. I'm pacing myself with housework because who wants to tackle the whole shabang in one day? Michael's toddler teacher brought me off the ceiling this morning. We had a chat about potty training, and she knew what I felt all along. He's not ready. He may not be ready by August for preschool. I don't think I am ready either. As much as I want him to be a big boy and be proud of his advancements, I want to hang on to the few "baby" things that I have left. While seeing him in big-boy, Lightning McQueen underpants yesterday was absolutely darling, it made me sad. My heart just wonders if this will be the last call, the grand finale of the baby years. Should we, would we, could we have an encore? I just don't know. Until I know, I will probably keep baby wipes in the cabinet just in case.
Another mother was picking up her toddler from Michael's class today, woo-hooing about being pregnant again. This will be her third. Why do I have such a desire to COMPLETELY complicate our lives?
In the meantime I am having a blast. Yes, right now the boys are hollering about something Thomas-the-train, and now Michael is crying. Aaaaah, the sounds of summer.

The Storm Before the Calm

2009-05-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a month! I think I've come home each evening without an ounce of energy left in my body. Nothing has been catastrophic or overly negative; this just must be the busiest May I've ever had. I guess I say that every year. I'm now getting psyched! This is also the most exciting part of the year. These are the days when I can again become giddy about staying at home for a while with my boys. This year will be different. Nick will be in clinic for much of the summer, plus some classes (that sounds so nonchallant), and will study like a mad man for the first round of dental boards. As of the other day, Nick is now officially a third year dental student. That sounds so distinguished! Somehow he managed to get through finals without too much taxing on the family life. I am so proud of him, and now that we're over the second major hump of time, I am breathing a little easier. I've now taught in Houston as long as I taught in Lubbock. WOW. We've been here for quite a while. Looking forward, perhaps we still have a chunk of time to go. But looking backwards, it really has gone quickly.

My summer is already pretty "booked." Nick and I sat down one night, as finals were wrapping up, and planned the most amazing anniversary trip. It will be just us, and yes it will be expensive. I see it as a huge investment in US. Time, amazing sights, time, time, and more focused, uninterrupted time. I love Nick all of the time, but doing something completely special and out of the ordinary--and just for us--is so invigorating.

The boys have part-time school over the summer. Fun, enrichment weeks for Nathan, and two-days a week of preschool for Michael, mostly so I can clean, declutter, and revamp for the next school year. And sew a little.

Here are a few recent photos.

One of the photos is of the white bearded iris that bloomed for me on Mother's Day. It is from the rhizomes that we've had since our first neighbors gave them to us in our first house. They've been dug up and moved in a bucket each time we nomads have relocated. This is the first flower we've seen since we were in Lubbock. It was a nice reminder of the old days, but a fresh feeling of things yet to come.

Sweet Potato Man

2009-05-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

It won't take me long to pick out a potato when I just cook for myself.
Among the zippy and rushed cart drivers in the mid-Saturday mayhem at the grocery store today, there was a sweet little old man who crossed my life path in the potato aisle. He must have been in his eighties and he was blocking the entire span of the sweet potato display. I wasn't in a hurry: my normal buggy driving speed, respectful patience, and no outward signs of haste should not have tipped him off that I was wanting him to move. He just shuffled backwards a little so that I could reach for some yams. Those were his words. I assured him that he could take his time, and wished him a nice rest of the day. His words stuck with me.
I learned at that moment that I truly love having a full grocery cart. It is a symbol of my life. I've never just shopped for myself. I've never had to just portion my cooking for one. I fill the cart weekly with nourishment, both in food form and the potential love that goes into preparing everything. All of this is at the core of my being and my self worth.
I started to think about what it would be like if I had the sparse little cart, holding only a few things just for me. What if I put one meager little sweet potato inside a bag just for myself. Would I ever put in the time, effort, and attention into preparing meals for just me? When would I ever need a whole package of carrots? It would take ages for me to go through a whole tub of peanut butter, or a jug of pancake syrup.
I thrive on feeding my family. For the remainder of the shopping experience, and still now, I am sad for the man with the one sweet potato. In that one little sentence, I knew a lot about that man. He liked sweet potatoes. He is lonely. Someone at some point probably took care of him, his grocery shopping, and his nourishment. And he misses that.
Tonight I got to bake my full bag of sweet potatoes. I piled them all up and took them to my parents' house. There, we all gathered and talked and ate our food together, enjoying each other's company. I am humbled to have these little experiences in my life that remind me to not take things for granted. I never knew I could have so much reflection over sweet potatoes.

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I saw a funny card in the split second that Michael allowed me to peruse the Mother's Day card aisle yesterday. It was a scene with masses of people at the beach and asked, "Can you spot the mother in this picture?" I'm looking for anything that might stick out as mother-ish, but since there wasn't anything obvious, and Michael was already tired of me looking at this ONE card, I turned quickly to get the punchline. "There's NO mother in this picture because, dummy, mother is still at the van, loading up lawnchairs, towels, picnic coolers, sand toys, bug spray...blah blah blah, and might never make it down to the beach." Oh how painfully appropriate! I laughed out loud amongst all the other really quiet, super serious card browsers, then took my two year old shopping date to another hemisphere of Walmart.

Mother's Day isn't always celebratory. I am sad for a friend who spent her first mother's day without her mother who recently passed away. I am sad for my former student's mother who had to spend her first mother's day without that child. I am sad for another former student who again visits her mother in the cemetery for Mother's Day.
I painfully remember a time when Mother's Day was nothing but a cruel tease for myself. I know there must be so many people out there who hurt on Mother's Day. There were so many days that wanted my own child to hold. I counted myself as a mother, but had nothing to show for it--and didn't really know if I would EVER have anything to show for it.

I am so fortunate. I can look back on those days and smile a half-relieving smile and a half-grieving smile. I still think about how the others would have turned out, but now I can hug my children (when they're not squirming away), get them snacks, bathe them, read to them, smell them, clean up their messes, tuck them into bed, console them, giggle with them, sing to them, guide them, and just watch them. Look and see what they've already become. It's the best thing in the world.

From the Soccer Sidelines

2009-05-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

I'm still not embracing my new role as a soccer mother, but I see the joy that it brings Nathan, so fine...I'll grin and bear it. Not without comments and opinions, and perhaps a few whining sessions. As I drove--in traffic--to soccer practice with Nathan, I grumpily (is that a word?) dreaded sitting out in the heat now that Spring is by the wayside, kicked viciously out of bounds by the impending summer inferno. Come to find out, a really nice breeze whisked around, turning my cranky self into much more comfortable observer.
It is really a riot to watch soccer practice. Each child is so different. I should know this; I work with children. Seeing them every day and all day, however, might cast a little haze over how funny they really are. Watching some of the parents brings different elements of hilarity to the equation. Here's my recollection of the most recent practice.
Player A: One of the coach's sons pouts and refuses to play about 80 percent of the time. Although he's a sweet kid, maybe soccer just isn't his thing. I can understand completely. Soccer has never been my thing and I would pout if I had to play. He hangs, cries, stomps, and kicks the ball allllmost to the bayou so spectators gasp as we KNOW he will inevitably fall in or something. Which he doesn't. But he smiles a coy grin at the ounce of attention.
Player B: Coach's child number two plays pretty decently. One of the better players, I think. It is pretty easy to see that soccer is his and NOT "player A's" idea for recreational fun. He focuses and completes the drills attentively, and well, doesn't pout.
Player C: Fire engine redheaded kid whose aggression stereotypically matches. Darling little kid, but tries to make cheap shots at elbowing, pushing, naahnaahnaahing faces, poking, tripping, hmmm...at his OWN TEAMMATES. If he'd channel his aggression into tactful and skillful soccer playing, he'd be a stellar five year old player. In the meantime, he's just hacking off his own team.
Note: Player C's parents do not see any of said negative behaviors. I swear Dad was napping in the lawn chair for the entire hour behind his shades.
Player D: Obviously he has grown up around soccer. We were early to practice so Player D's older siblings were actually playing with the players already there, kicking back and forth and trying to do loosely organized drills. Player D seems like a really nice kid, and he's not a bad soccer player either.
Player E: Seemingly overscheduled, high energy kid who apparently takes sabotage-your-own-teammate classes with Player C. He's not as aggressive, but he can be a real pest. His mother, however, watches intently and stops him whenever he is starting to act naughty. Thanks mom!
Player F: Younger, well mannered little boy who is probably skilled equally with Nathan. I like talking to his mother. He takes water breaks about once every five minutes, and gets a free cuddle with mom at the same time. I think it's more about the cuddles than the water!
Player G: Oh, BLESS HIS LITTLE HEART. Where do I begin? Full blown tongue exposure, complete with spit blowing ALL THE TIME. He spits toward his mother CONSTANTLY, spits in the direction of his fellow players, coach, other parents for no reason whatsoever. It's NASTY and disrespectful. Mother is clueless, chatting on her cell phone twenty yards away the entire practice. But whenever she IS around, there's no reaction from her at all--even when he's spitting right to her face. When he runs, it's actually pretty funny because his arms revolve like a motor just like a bathtub scuba diver might--just a lot faster.
Player H would be Nathan. He was pretty clueless in the beginning. I can't blame the kid. I've not conditioned him in the area of soccer EVER. He finds grass irregularities or dandelions or line patterns in the soccer goal highly intriguing--perhaps sometimes more intriguing than playing soccer. He runs with his legs flared out in excitement, and sometimes gets disoriented in which direction they should be heading. He is starting to show more aggression and I am not sure if I like that at all. We'll see. I love to see him beam with happiness when he's out there playing--going the right way or not.

They all love to be goalie...at the same time. And pouters pout (and spit--maybe he's trying to be a camel) when it's not their turn. Shoes come off ALL the time. They're often thirsty. Whenever there's a breaktime, several go off into the nearby little trees to climb. And don't come back until mom gets off the cell phone and dad wakes up from his lawn chair nap. Someone usually needs to go to the bathroom, which there is NO bathroom around--conveniently since there are TONS of kids and parents there all of the time. After it all, they are tired little buggers. Nathan loves it, and I am glad for that. I don't love it, but I've found some humor and enjoyment in watching it--and I like to see his smile. I'm glad he's not a spitter.

Memoirs of a Wet Cat

2009-04-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

I have the two most manly-beautiful, loving, caring, intelligent boys in the whole world. I could spend every waking moment with them, and it would not be enough. I love them. I do not love soccer. My love affair with soccer is equivalent to Sadie's love affair with jumping in swimming pools. Today marked day 3 of soccer, but it was game 2 already. If Nathan didn't seem to like it so much, I would've said good riddens some time ago. The people are nice. The coach is a very patient, kind man who I really believe Nathan will learn a lot from. Perhaps it has been the circumstances around soccer that are contributing the most to my disdain.

Michael does NOT like anything to do with Nathan's soccer practice/games. Annnnd, he's not shy about sharing his feelings. Sitting, watching, and NOT crossing into the field of play seem to be near impossible tasks. He does enjoy walking around the spacious school grounds with me (at least during the one non-raining soccer time so far), therefore I don't get to watch. He had a blast collecting pine cones, walking sticks, and having such a large area to explore. One time.

We've been getting a LOT of rain. I piddled around doing normal weekend chores this morning watching the online radar like a hawk. As the time went by, I assured myself that the game would be cancelled. Very colorful storm bands marched toward Houston like lines of cavalry. No worries, I thought, hoping the officials and coaches would've remembered the torrential rain we had in yesterday's afternoon commute. (I was personally grateful that the monsoon was yesterday instead of that day when my car went caput.) Surely there would be no game. We'd get drenched--obviously. The team manager mother called me to confirm that the game would go on. What? Joking to myself, I figured we'd all get dressed, packed up, in the car, and driven over there, and then they'd cancel. Ha. The show must go on. We hauled out the folding chair, the extra soccer ball for Michael to play with, the water bottle, the phone, and walked toward the playing fields. It's so encouraging when there are REALLY dark clouds pushing TOWARD you while you're balancing all of the previously listed things PLUS a wiggling 2-year-old. At least I didn't lock my keys in the car or something.

I'm a freakin' meteorology genius. Rain, rain, booms of thunder in the distance (I guess the rules are TOTALLY different than swimming pool rules when it comes to lightning and thunder), and all I am thinking is: how do THOSE ladies over there have the organizational skills to have their younger children sit beside them completely still UNDER an umbrella for this whole thing? Why does MY other son have to run around finding the numbers on the soccer fields so he can shout out, "ONE! TWO! THREE!!" In the rain? Or be ANYWHERE other than my nice folding Tech chair?--which all the chair did was collect rain water into a little folding-chair pool. Nathan couldn't even sit in it during breaks.

I got to watch maybe ten minutes of the game. Nathan said I missed his big block as the goalie and I was sorry for that. I do quite enjoy watching him running around so happily, doing something that brings him such joy. I like that. Soccer makes him so jolly.

Being a mother means sacrificing LOTS of things. There was a time when I would not have been caught dead sitting out in the rain watching (or trying to watch) a soccer game. And, if it were not for Nathan and his love for this activity, I would still not be caught dead doing it.

I am thinking about buying one of those cemetery tents to carry in the back of the van, though. Heck with the umbrellas. I wonder if they come in a collapsible version. Hmmmm.

Anyway, here are some photos from the first game (Thursday), and some others from my birthday and Easter.

If Funky Warning Light Combinations Start to Flash, THERE'S A REASON WHY

2009-04-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

I think the universe is trying to tell me something. Nick avoided an accident this morning and by the end of the day had four new tires (needed them anyway), alignment, and something else. Maybe the tire people threw in a consolation dum-dum. Luckily ($600 later, and I'm starting with "luckily"?) Nick was safe and fine.
In another neck of the woods, riiight about the same time, my battery and emergency brake lights are flashing again. Ugh. I called Nick to gripe about finally making the decision to schedule a service appointment, and my call found him changing his own tire so he could get to the tire place. Once in my classroom, I reserved an online appointment with the dealership, and during the day I received a follow up call message to confirm.
I'd call them later.
I left school this afternoon, nestling into my drive to get the boys. Oh, whoever planted the wildflower garden in the road esplanade had vision...such a beautiful vision, and such a pleasure to look at every end of my work days. La te da. Oh, there are those blasted warning lights again. Good thing I have a call/e-mail into the service department. Stop, go, made the light under the freeway which I NEVER make. During my big turn from north to west, in an instant, my car drops to less that a quarter of its normal power. I can steer, nothing hit me, but it was stunned at a speed less than idling. By golly, I had my serviceman's direct number in my cell phone from his earlier call. How's that for timing! Also, my mileage is 29,222: YES!--it's under warranty! Wooo hooo!!! At least this would not be something else totalling $600, but perhaps I shouldn't assume anything.
As much as I love my home city, there are many places here, there, and everywhere that I would rather NOT be stuck in a dead (or coding) car. My Nissan guy paired me up with a towing company (towing? I've NEVER been towed) and we waited in Roznovsky's burger joint for its arrival. I was so glad for their existence. Barbara and Nick both came to my rescue. Between Nick's gimpy car from this morning, and my seizing van this afternoon, I was contemplating buying a horse and cart.
Tonight my mama van is probably violated. The poor baby was strapped to a tow truck (a shiny one, at least...not a dingy one) and hauled to the dealership...at least I HOPE it arrived. Safely. Without any scratches. Or anything else funky.
I felt like I had great circumstances for crummy situations today. My cars are sort of a metaphor for my own health. I don't really seek medical help for something unless there is something obviously wrong. However, when I seek the help of the professionals, it is very comforting to know there are people out there, ready to jump in to help. I hope my van is OK. Going to visit it (or at least confirm that it got to the dealership) sounds looney, but the thought did cross my mind.
I want to type about Nathan's first soccer practice, but I am so darn tired. I'll combine my soccer thoughts with tomorrow night's first game highlights. Go Transformers! Yep. Transformers.

Egg Hunting Rehearsals

2009-04-10T05:42:00.001-07:00

There is something absolutely precious going on in my house this morning. High (not too high, just as high as a five-and-a-half-year-old can reach) and low, in the pantry, on the office chairs, on the couch cushions, on the window ledges, in the wall corners, among other places, Nathan is hiding eggs for Michael to find. They've both had their classroom Easter parties and egg hunts, and they're replaying that over and over and over right now on this restful, I-LOVE-that-Good-Friday-is-a-holiday morning. I have a sneaky feeling that the Easter bunny's arrival on Sunday might have a little less of a WOW factor, but they're just having a ball together. Each time Michael picks one up, he announces, "Easter egg," and Nathan announces the EXACT color. Once the basket is full, Michael sits on the couch while Nathan "hides" them again. Right now they're discussing the difference between light blue and baby blue. And giggling at the same time. I guess things could be worse: an outright argument over the shades of blue or something. It's really cute to listen to. Ooops, now they dropped all of the Easter "grass" all over somewhere, and Michael just commanded, "That's MINE." Aaah, the giggling moments were fun.

It was a sad day.

2009-04-06T19:09:00.001-07:00

My heart is so heavy today. I've broken down once during school today, and I've carried this weight of sadness that I don't WANT to shake off yet. I've taught many students in my eight years in the classroom. Each child is a gift to my life's story. I may know some for only a short time, and I've kept up with a few through the years. Today I experienced a first: learning of the death of a former student. From the moment I met her, I knew she was ill. Such a delicate little body with such compounded medical conditions, she...my words escape me. I don't know how to work through this. I cannot fathom what her mother and her sister are going through. Therein lies the further compounding of the situation. Her sister has the same underlying medical condition. I can list reasons as to why her death could be a blessing: her life was plagued with hospital stays, painful procedures, recurring illnesses, immobility, weakness. Why was she put on this Earth to live such a painful life? It doesn't make sense. It isn't right for a child to suffer so much. Perhaps it does make sense. Despite her trials and pain and sickness, she touched me. I know she wasn't on this Earth for my selfish enlightenment. She seemed to affect everyone she was around. Children saw her courage and her kindness, her gentleness and her genuine spirit. They saw how determined she was to climb in and out of her wheelchair just to sit with friends on the playground, only using her arms to support her entire painstricken body. Even when I could tell she was really hurting, she was glad to see me and the other students. The children learned from her. I learned from her. I can't seem to grasp the fact that she is no longer with us.

Wedding Q and A

2009-03-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

1. When did you get married? June 12, 1999
2. What day of the week was it? Saturday
3. Was this your first marriage? yes.
4. How many guests were invited to your wedding? About 300
5. How long were you and your significant other together before getting married? 3 1/2 years.
6. How did you meet your significant other? In middle school
7. How did your engagement happen? He proposed at the Houston Rose Garden, the location of one of our first dates.
8. How long was the engagement? From August 20, 1998 until June 12, 1999; nearly 10 months
9. Did he ask the parents? I don't think so. We did stop at my dad's office right afterwards though. He worked at Rice which is a [big] stone's throw from the rose garden.
10. Was the ring a surprise? No. We painstakingly picked it out together and rushed over to the Rose Garden because just in a couple of days, we'd be returning to Lubbock for the start of the semester. I just love my ring. I think it symbolizes the special times we have together (the diamond) and the simple, everyday times that we have (the simple, yet strong band).
11. Where was your wedding ceremony and/or reception? St. Mark's Methodist Church, Houston; and reception was at the Cohen House on the Rice University campus.
12. What were your wedding colors? Ivory and sage green bridesmaid dresses with tons of medium shade flowers. Nothing too pastel, nothing too bold. I was a bit on the OCD side when it came to wedding planning.
13. Did your father walk you down the aisle? Yes.
14. What was the weather like on your big day? June in Houston, hot and humid. It did rain as we left the church. It's good luck to have rain on your wedding day.
15. Where did you go for pictures? My grandfather took our wedding pictures. It is a priceless memento for me to have had him photograph our wedding. He also took my bridal portrait.
16. Did either of you get drunk? We had champagne and mimosas. It was a morning wedding. No excessive drinking.
17. What type of wedding gown/tux did you two wear- My dress definitely fit my tastes as a 20/21 year old bride. It was frilly with a sash, satin flowers, and a decently long train. I had a chapel length veil with more satin flowers on it. Nick wore a classic tux with vest and bow tie. We both looked stunning and young.
18. What was your wedding music? We had a string quartet and a trumpet at the ceremony--absolutely divine. At the reception we had a 4 or 5 piece band that played jazz, country, classical, and other hand picked tunes. No dancing really (except our first dance), but it was nice background music for the reception.
19. What was your wedding favor/gift? I made hundreds of confetti (Italian favors) with almonds, another set with chocolates, and my mom's relatives from Italy sent more confetti. I very much enjoyed making all of that.
20. Did you smash the cake? Smash the cake? That's awful. No. We had beautiful cakes. Mine was butter cake with pineapple filling, and iced like a birthday cake with fresh flowers added to decorate it. Delicious and beautiful. Nick's was chocolate mousse cake with a Texas Tech double T made out of pecans with chocolate drizzled on it. Again, delicious and beautiful.
21. Wedding night? Hyatt near the IAH airport. We had a super early flight the next morning., When we checked in, there was this OVERLY intoxicated couple checking in in front of us bumbling about how they just got married. I don't think either of them would ever recall getting married, though. They were funny.
22. Favorite part of your wedding day? Two, OK three: walking down the aisle with my dad, seeing Nick's face as we walked (two favorite moments within one moment), and just being at the reception taking in the whole experience. Ok, more than just three: getting to see my bouquets, church flowers, and reception decorations all together.
23. Least favorite part? Seeing it all happen so quickly; it was several hours, but it FLEW by. 24. Would you do it all again? YES!
25. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Several Bed and Breakfasts along the coast of Maine. We flew in and out of Boston so we spent a couple of days there too. The majority was in Maine, though. We could not have picked a more perfect honeymoon location.
26. How long have you been married? Almost 10 years
27. Anything else? Even though we were such a young couple, we had vision that perhaps we didn't even know we had. So far it has been a great ride, this life we share together.

Painting the Barn

2009-03-16T20:31:00.000-07:00

My daddy's old Sunday school teacher related barns to a woman's make up regimen. What a metaphor. If the barn didn't need painting, don't paint the barn. If the barn needed painting, paint the barn. I get up early enough as it is. Make up has not been a top priority ever in my life. Right now I have the bug, though. I was on this silly little website last night (Spring Break REALLY frees up some time) and browsed the color selections. Ohhh, it is tempting.
I live with too many men.
Tonight at dinner I proposed to Nick my plan to buy some make up tomorrow. Nathan got a little nervous. Make up is a girlie topic and we don't usually talk about girlie things. I could tell he was interested in the subject though. This was a new, uncharted topic of dinner conversation. He had an innocently quizzical (sp?) look on his face. I talked about my fresh education on the latest trends in cosmetics: foundation shimmers, lip goopey things, pencils for this, concealers for that. Nathan was dumbfounded about all of these products.
Why would one use a pencil on one's eyes? Aren't they for writing? I went on and on with my superficial, crash course lesson in cosmetics (more of a rant I guess), and Nathan's little brain squirrels were just a runnin'. This is an area of knowledge that he knew absolutely nothing about. He was puzzled. I knew I wasn't making any headway with the men in my life when Nathan asked so curiously if there was such a thing as EAR SHIMMER. What? This precious little thing was really trying to be engaged in this conversation with me. All his dear daddy could see were little dollar signs floating around in a haze of pixie dust shimmer powder. Bless his little heart. Perhaps this is why I've never really made the investment in products, time, or effort. The crowd that I run with would never even know the difference. HA! I tried to tell Nathan the reference story to the barn and I think I really threw him for a loop. Poor kid. Why would somebody put make up on a barn? Eyes squinting, hand on forehead.

Today in Pictures

2009-03-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

Oh rats! I loaded these pictures in sequential order from today and somehow they appeared in the exact reverse order. Well, I'm not technically innovative enough to change them around, so here they are anyway!
We began our day with both boys going to their pedodontist, Dr. Lindhorst. Nathan had his check up and Michael went for his initial visit. I planned for weeks, reading Dora Goes to the Dentist countless times. We talked about what to expect, Michael and I, and he did BEAUTIFULLY! What a champ! He climbed into the spaceship chair that went up and down, he leaned back, let her brush and examine his teeth, and sported some totally radical shades in the meantime. Oops, my students say I should not say radical. HA!
We zipped on over to the zoo with Nick's folks. I think everyone else in the entire city had the same idea. The entire museum/zoo/train/Hermann Park complex was insanely crowded. We parked a nice jaunt away from everything, but the weather cleared up and was just delightful. We rode the new and improved train and Michael loved it. Nathan got bitten by the cranky pants bug and was an ogre for some of the family field trip. I think he enjoyed some of it, though.
SO, Spring Break Day #3 was a success. We're all exhausted from the outing, so I think we're canning the idea of the museum tomorrow. If there are half as many people in that area tomorrow, it will still be crazy crowded. Besides, we need to rest up for Wednesday--RODEO Day! Oh, the tribulations of Spring Break. I love this temporary gig of being a stay-at-home mom!

Spring Break Day 2

2009-03-15T19:32:00.001-07:00

This weekend has been rainy and cold. The sun is supposed to appear for the first time in days tomorrow. We've had such nice weather for months, it seems, and the rain is a welcome change for the yards are greening up and the flora is emerging from its winter slumber. But, it's Spring Break! My family loves to just BE at home. The boys twiddle about playing this and that, Nick and I twiddle about doing grown up versions of this and that, and it seems like we all just savor the time we have together at home. Now that the rain has forced us to do just that for a few days, it is time to break out and enjoy some sunshine.
We put in so many hours of working, studying, cooking, cleaning, sitting in traffic, bustling from there to here and back to there again. I am fortunate and relieved to have this Spring Break time where we are ALL at home. The dogs have company--perhaps being the landscape for hot-wheel car off-roading isn't their ideal doggie napping scenario, but they patiently put up with it. I think they like the attention when we're at home. Someone can scratch their heads, Sadie can have her dining experience at 2PM on the dot (internal dog feeding clock--so weird), and she has extra kitchen rug duty when I am at home. As in, she thinks she is the kitchen rug and gets under my feet at every possible chance.
I've managed to not consume myself with housework. It won't go anywhere, and most likely I will get to it at some point this week. For now, though, we've all been doing some well-deserved vegging out. All four of us may be doing different things around the house at once, perhaps even in opposite corners, but just knowing that we're all here together is such a warming feeling.

A Click Here, A Click There

2009-03-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Here a click, there a click, everywhere a click, click...
Mr. Michael did some funky stuff on the computer this evening--stealthly quietly too. It was quite a scene. The things-are-too-quiet siren blared in my head while I was cooking TWO dinners at once tonight. Why do I torture myself? Nick called in the middle of the chopping and simmering to say that he'd be studying later than normal. We could've done Chick-fil-A if I would have known that beforehand, but it was just as well. Nathan twiddled about the house, drawing, making alien-fighting pssh-ing and fwauu-ing sounds, reading a few little books to me while sitting at the counter, etc. Michael was, well, what WAS Michael doing? Michael? Where are you Michael?
Everything happens for a reason, and it's a good thing that I was introduced to parenthood with a cautious, even-tempered child.
Picture this:
Michael squatted ON the computer DESK in front of the keyboard (computer desk chair now doubles as a ladder, apparently), hunched over so he could still maneuver the mouse. On the screen were some funky, funky things. He opened a screen-version of a keyboard. At the top was a magnifying window for anything on screen to be blown up for the reader to see much larger. A few things I had NO clue what they were (and I didn't even know there were applications for magnifiers and on-screen keyboards--and I still couldn't tell you how to get to them now). Then, somehow he had the internet opened to a banana-zucchini bread recipe: I had never seen the recipe nor the website from where it came.
He just smiled and inched his way back into the desk chair. I guess he anticipated a few breather moments where I'd be stunned by what he did, and then I'd get onto him for squatting ON the desk. Maybe he ought to apply for a job at Microsoft. Perhaps he uncovered applications that are yet to be utilized. Most likely they ARE used, but there existence is NEW TO ME!
Nathan and I joked about the likelihood that he could've contacted. . . "New York," Nathan said. I added, "New Zealand," then "Perhaps a new universe." That was most likely. Perhaps the magnifier was a portal into a newly discovered existence. And the keyboard was the only means of communication.
We put tonight's dinner on a fast-track, diverted Michael from doing any secret CIA code-cracking, and spent the next half-hour dining with each other.
All in a night's work.

Church Corporations

2009-03-07T18:41:00.000-08:00

I take issue with how super-huge places of worship are organized and run. I am a respectful skeptic anyway, but that's beside the point. Here are some things that I noticed on a recent visit to a mega-church.
1. The walls are plastered with advertisements of the church itself. The marketing posters of upwards of five satellite "campuses" are floor to ceiling. One can't miss the giant helicopter pad centered on at least one poster. Among the poster were several displaying the technology spread that they use to broadcast the services. The control rooms looked like something out of NASA.
2. Some campuses are either movie theaters or are rigged to be like movie theaters. People sit in auditoriums watching digitally beamed-in televised version of the sermons. How is that different from watching it in your own livingroom--since it's on network TV anyway?
3. The gardens are absolutely exquisite. Right out of a magazine.
4. The 20-or-more-foot-banner spotlighting the recent giving campaign: I nearly dropped my punch (see #5). I want to say that the highest level indicated on the banner was in the 80-something million dollars, but they were sitting at a modest 60-something million dollars as of last count. Almost there...almost there...Let's keep up that momentum, people!
5. Spectacular punch: the wedding punch was the best I've ever had. Absolutely delicious. Seriously. I kept tasting it to see if I could reproduce it later.
6. Coffee shop in the church: I might go there if they served the punch on Sunday mornings! HA! Don't forget the workout facility, bowling alley, sports courts, expansive school,
7. I just looked at their website and there is really an online guide to baptism. There are two different links for tithe-ing, donating, pledging, whatever you want to call it. Actually there's a third link for planned giving--I guess for estate planning? Oops, there's another link for donating called "worship thru giving." There's even an online budgeting tutorial to see just how much you can give, I mean worship. They recommend 10% of one's income, but you should prayerfully consider being part of the "tithe plus" column of the chart, giving/worshipping upwards of 20% of the income. Puleeze. I wonder if you get coffee discounts with that. Maybe then you'd get the secret punch recipe. There's even a cheat-sheet giving chart for kids. The excel spreadsheet wouldn't load. It suppsedly gave more formulas to help you prayerfully decide upon an amount.

I just read over my words and I sound completely cynical. I am sure that plenty of people are devoted and literally and figuratively buy into this church's teachings. Perhaps they know something that I don't. That's quite possible, I guess. I, personally, just don't see the attraction. Other family friends attend the same church and absolutely love it. Great. I value their friendship wholeheartedly. I hope their respect for me, despite the fact that I do not attend this corporation of a church, matches my respect for them despite the fact that they do attend. Does that make sense? One of the most wonderful things about this country is that we have this right to our personal religious beliefs. We even have permission to not have religious beliefs. I do completely respect the fact that others may not share my own personal ones, and hopefully that feeling is mutual.

Just a Couple of Things

2009-03-01T17:39:00.000-08:00

1. If we had another baby, we'd need a new dinner table. We've not been ambling on this topic of having another child since Nick made "the deal." So far, I've stuck with my end of the bargain (although I still teeter over whether or not we should even have a third). If I stopped the, not really nagging, but more like incessant hints and references to having another baby, he would entertain the idea of planning for one in the last year of his schooling. I thought that was perfectly fair since such a life-altering decision should not be made during weeks and weeks of multiple exams and practicals. But, as I was piddling around the kitchen today, it occured to me that the current kitchen table would NOT be conducive to five. It would have to be round, I determined, such that no one would be squashed and no one would be too far removed from the rest. Family mealtime feng shui. The table leaves are just obnoxious so that wouldn't be an acceptable alternative. Good thing there's no bun in the oven (nor the grains even ground).

2. I'm going to Baltimore!!! Where? Why the enthusiasm? I realized that I hadn't logged this piece of TOTALLY cool news into this blog. One night, not too long ago, I was in the middle of my evening routine of bathing a certain two-and-a-HALF-year-old (now, he officially owns the HALF), and Nick hollers from the same place I sit now, "YOU WON THE TRIP!" What? Me? I had just given up on it. Back in January, just before school resumed, I came across an e-mail from the Alliance of the ADA: the spouses' group that promotes dental health teachings, etc. I became a member a few months ago. Their annual conference was to be held at the end of March in Baltimore, and the e-mail was announcing the grants available to first-time attendees. The due date for postmarking was like the next day so I flittered about getting it ready. What fun it could be, and what a perfect chance for me to truly see what the Alliance is all about! I made a special stop by the post office the next morning to make sure that it would be validated before the deadline. I knew as I stuck it down the shoot (in the rain) that my chances were probably slim, there were probably already at least several applicants, and on some paper it said that it could come down to a first come, first granted basis. Still, I sent it on its way and waited. I waited more, and my enthusiasm was fizzling a bit. Oh well, next year I would be more on top of things and I would have it sent earlier. It was just as well. I even walked down the school hallway a few days before the official e-mail, mentally throwing in the towel and giving up on hearing anything.
And I won. I had flights and hotel booked before the night was over. My mom is going to accompany me, participate in a few of the events, but plans to sightsee or just veg out on the other days. I'm just so excited.

Minivan-Driving-Soccer-Mom

2009-02-13T18:02:00.000-08:00

O.M.G. I'm pouting. I confess. I do, absolutely LOVE how my minivan suits my needs perfectly. Seriously. I don't especially want AT ALL to be a soccer mom, though. The end of my work day is not suitable for reasoning with a two year old over why he can't join his brother on the practice field. I come home, cook dinner, lounge a bit in my chair, and work the bedtime routine circuit. Now there is a new bleep on the evening schedule: soccer. It starts in April, I think, and I'm not all that fired up about it. On the sign-up page, it was not an option to NOT volunteer. A pop-up menu asked if I would consider the "coach" position: that was HYSTERICALLY FUNNY! Me?--a Soccer coach. When I settled for the team manager (whatever that is) it begged me with another pop-up menu to REALLY reconsider being the coach. Aaaaaah, I can picture it now: my closet being invaded with coach, bowling-type, embroidered shirts and, heaven help me in the fall: a cub scout mom shirt. I think I will go by some new make up...something girly. Naah. It'll just glisten in the hot-as-hell humidity while I am chasing Michael around the practice fields and I'll look all pastey. Maybe I can be in charge of team-mascot-themed snacks, drinks, and goodie bags. The team ice-cream social? Spa day, anyone? Nick says he will handle taking Nathan to the practices and games. Brain flash: HE will be in charge at the emergency room when Nathan breaks something? Who will be there to panic? That wasn't a pop-up menu option. Official Freak-out mom when somebody's bone pops out of their arm. How can I embellish gatorade bottles? Maybe I will get my own embroidered bowling shirt (in team colors, yet to be determined) with "April Cobb, Team Manager," so I can blend in while chasing the toddler. Such fun. Ya-hieuuuu as Michael says now. His other new phrase is "oh...that's TERRIBLE." Perhaps that's more fitting. I need a girly daughter.

The Silent Listener

2009-02-11T11:53:00.000-08:00

Cleaning out some odds and ends while home with a sick child can be liberating. I administer medicine, tend to his every need, but still have ample time to organize bathroom drawers and purge some excess household junk. I ran across a hand-written account on a looseleaf piece of notebook paper. I wrote it a few years ago. I had just finished my first jury duty experience and was waiting for Nick to pick me up at a downtown Starbucks. Here is the written account:

He had normal twitchy head nods, comfortable posture, and rhythmically puffed away on a cigarette in the lulls of a conversation. This, in all appearances, looks like a normal coffee shop patio conversation. As a matter of fact, I am perched in a coffee shop window, sipping on my own cup of brewed beans. Reading the local paper, my eyes shifted to watch the passersby; there's nothing noteworthy in the news. This man looked relaxed and enveloped in his talk. The clencher of this observation is that this man's talking companion doesn't exist. At least in the physical sense, no one sits in the adjacent or opposite chair. No one else even occupies a seat on the entire patio.

What is this man's story? To whom is he speaking? His eyebrows tense and relax like mine or yours would in a talk with a friend. His hands gesture like any good Italian's would. He nods in polite approval to whatever is being said back to him. Something about this unseen partner is making this man's day, maybe his entire life, just a little more tolerable. Whoever joins him in this conversation might just be the key to his existence.

This man is someone's son. He is old and weathered, but at sometime, somewhere, a mother looked down at his face with a heart filled with love. He was precious. He would grow and create a good life, she thought, but fate would painfully prove otherwise. Passing judment upon this man would be easy. Perhaps judgment could be cast upon me for simply observing and trying to analyze this image in time.

When I am warm, he is probably aching with cold limbs. When I am hugged by my husband or children, he probably longs to experience any sort of human touch. When I dig through my stuffed pantry for food, he probably scrounges around for morsels of things tossed out. When I snuggle into my bed, he probably flinches from more scratches on the concrete. When I feel boundless love or validation or comfort, he is probably alone in this world.

He sips the last remaining swigs of liquid from some sort of container for a little relief from this heat. This man has a life. There's no telling from where he came and how he got to this patio bench, but his life should matter just as much as mine. Maybe that is what he is trying to tell his silent listener.

Eating Bon-Bons and Watching Soaps

2009-02-10T11:01:00.000-08:00

If I were a stay-at-home mom, how would I spend my days? Nathan is off to school full time (not now, he's still fighting the flu--hence the time to sit and ponder on the keyboard). Michael goes twice a week and next year it will be three times a week. The route to school and back home takes roughly an hour. Seriously. That would be twice daily. Piddling around shops would just get me into trouble. Piddling in the kitchen would just get me into trouble. We'd not be so low on dog food. I'd probably have treatments on our windows. The drainboard wouldn't be stacked so high with idle pans and kitchen gear. Laundry chores could be completed a little bit per day--and folded and put away. I'd dust. Ok, maybe not. I ought to, though. It's embarrassing. I've never been one for soaps although the drama is hysterically funny--in a mocking, sarcastic way. My days at home with gimpy have given me some time to catch up on house work. I love keeping house. When I work, I get by with things being just tidy. I allow myself the excuses of being exhausted from the day or just not wanting to take the time to do something. I'd have all day to think about packing the next day's lunches. I would not forget the napping paraphernalia for little bit's school the next day. I'd sit and snuggle with him, if he'd let me, and nuzzle the top of his head. It's easy to say that I would have all my ducks in a row, all dust bunnies obliterated.
When working full time, I do make time to complete the chores and cuddle with my kids. It just seems so scheduled and haphazardly thrown into a rigid routine. However these things fit into my life, taking care of my family and home are my most prized purposes in life.

Shoo Flu!

2009-02-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

Mid-day on Thursday, I got a call from Nathan's school nurse who informed me that he had a low grade fever, but needed to go home. She seems very, very nice. I've talked via phone with her just a few times, and she seems like she is just a genuinely kind and thoughtful person. Good vibes: I'm glad she's at the helm of the "if my kid is sick or hurt" ship. I half way dismissed his fever as a whim, perhaps his sinuses were acting up. We got home, he rested, but we already planned for him to stay at Barbara's house the next day instead of going to school. Michael would spend the day with my mom to somewhat quarantine his immune system. Nathan's fever got higher and higher throughout the next day, and he became more and more lethargic. His fever hovered around 102, 103. Yikes. This isn't my kid, is it? We've been so very fortunate that the boys maintain excellent health. I left school early, picked Nathan up, and met Nick at the pediatrician. They were so kind to get us an appointment in one hour (and we were seen even before that). I do not have to rely on my pediatricians often at all. We keep up with well check visits, but that's about it. It is so comforting to know that they're vigilant when a time of need does come. I would've hated to see the actual germ vapor floating around in that place, though. Toxic kiddo sputum vapor. Gross!
He indeed had Influenza A, and a temp of 103.1. My poor sweet boy. He complained not even once. His eyes were droopy and glassy, his face was flushed, and looked to be in a fog. Since we got home from the doctor, he has made steady improvement. Just a little at first, but this afternoon we are seeing signs of the antiviral medicines significantly working. He dislikes the medicines, but once again, he doesn't complain. Knowing that we'd do anything in the world to make him feel better, we still scoffed at the $85 price tag for one of the medicines. Then we had to chuckle because insurance had knocked that down from over $120! Priceless becomes the Tamiflu when it brings back even the slightest energy to my son, though. He is not groggy and lifeless. When we told him that kite-flying wasn't really an OK activity for today, he asked to do his homework sheet from school! What a determined little learner!
What I've been reminded of in this experience (once again) is how much I depend upon our parents. Michael spent yesterday with my parents on my mom's off-work day, he spent the night at Barbara and Odis's (after she had spent quite some time decontaminating the Nathan-areas of her house), and he's back at my parents' house for today and tonight. Barbara cared for a sick Nathan yesterday, she picked both boys up early the day before when all of this began. They don't complain, they change around or alter their schedules, they pick up extra food, they just don't bat an eye when it comes to helping out. Nothing. Nothing that I could say or do would ever express the amount of gratitude I have for them all. So, from the trenches of this health catastrophe, I become humble. I am fortunate that someone developed drugs to make people feel just a little bit better when riding the course of the flu. I am fortunate that I am surrounded by health care professionals who jump to my assistance. I am fortunate that my workplace is sensitive and supportive of me being a mom and wife first and an educator second. I am fortunate that people are passionately devoted to my children. It is quite humbling.

Reflections from the Dental Chair

2009-02-03T18:18:00.000-08:00

Flossing CAN be bad for you!
I should know.
One thing led to another and ultimately I was one less filling than I had been two seconds before. Yuck. Grody. This wasn't happening, I hoped. Who cared about the stupid Super Bowl game anyway. With my escalating status of freaking out, I glanced over at Nick who had this rabid dog, vulture-ish look on his face that was mixed with empathetic reassurance. He knew. I knew. It would have to be fixed, and he could now fix it! One good thing...it wasn't hurting. I would make it until the morning. In all of my wildest dreams, I absolutely NEVER (ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER) pictured my knight in shining armor coming in the form of a dentist with really sharp, pointy things, begloved, and decked out in surgical garb. Ever.
There was no doubt that I wanted Nick to fix my tooth, though. He finagled a plan with a dean, professors, and the school clinic to get me swapped on the schedule with a mannequin that he would've otherwise been working on. Two timer! HA! Come to find out, I would be the only human patient for anyone in that clinic that day--me and a bunch of dummies--YAY for ME!
I will always say that I would rather give birth than be in a dental chair. For Nick to have me as his first human guinea pig, to manage my anxiety (Me? Anxiety?), to have to focus on a SUPER complicated filling repair (according to me, it was darn near life threatening), and stay composed--the man is my hero!
In between all of the injections and gawd-awful drill noises, dropping the pokey things down my throat (HA! Nope, just kidding), setting tooth clamps and wedge placements, scraping and spooning (not as in a cereal spoon, I quickly learned), there were moments that I would just watch him. I could see corners of his eyes poking around from behind the magnifying loupes. Those are the same eyes that I looked into on the day we started dating, the day we became husband and wife, and the days our boys were born. Yes, my knight in shining armor comes with dental surgical garb and wickedly pokey instruments. But, I just cannot express in words how proud of him I am.

A Few Pictures

2009-01-28T18:34:00.000-08:00

Nick, Michael, and Nathan reading a bedtime story. Michael flexing his muscles in the mirror before his bath. He's so very, very cute.

January 29, 2009

2009-01-28T18:12:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will mark one week that I have had my Invisalign trays. The first couple of days, they were very uncomfortable. My jaw ached and my teeth just hurt! It was weird because it would be one single tooth for a while, then another tooth in a totally different area and so on--like teeth-hurting-musical-chairs. I chalked it up to the fact that they've not really moved at all since they came in when I was like ten. I chewed really gingerly--but still chewed, mind you--and each day got much better. After about day four, there was NO achiness, and my teeth were adjusting well. My mouth is dry a LOT, but I do talk a LOT. Dr. Hanis said these would be like training wheel trays. The second day was the worst. On top of sore teeth, there was a piece of plastic shrapnel jabbing the daylights out of the inside of my mouth. I have a lot invested in these babies and was hesitant to do anything. But it hurt and the point of the trays versus the metal brackets was to avoid this problem. Come to find out, it was just a little flake of excess plastic and I barely brushed and off it came. SO much better. I'm very delicate. I've already noticed some teeth moving which I guess is the point--hopefully it's not all psychological. My school kids didn't even notice them. I had been talking about them since August and I think they gave up on me actually getting them. They ask me daily if I still have them in. Yep.

I took a picture of the trays, really for my own documentary to watch as things proceed. I'm sorry if they're eeew and blehh to anyone, but I'd be glad to share some of Nick's dental magazine images with you and this would seem like pre-K show and tell. My snacking regimen has been kicked to the curb which depending on how I look at it, that could be a good or bad thing. So far I am a happy customer, though.

Long Live the Queen...Where'd She Go?

2009-01-20T11:21:00.000-08:00

Due to technical difficulties (Are there really technical difficulties, or is that the constant and we are just overjoyed when things actually work when they're supposed to?), my class and I were forced to watch the inauguration on a teeny tiny projector screen with super faint volume. Am I glad I didn't have to watch it from afar in frigid temperatures?--yes. I guess I shouldn't complain. We got about every fifth word of the whole shabang.

The pomp and circumstance fizzled. We waited around to see the parade (which I thought would be before the luncheon, but I misread the schedule). That wasn't happening any time soon, and we were preparing for our own lunch.

In the trudge back to the desks, one of my students blurts out with the most innocent of intentions, "Where's the Queen? Where'd the Queen go in all of this?"

Being a lover of history, being an educator, being a mother, and being an advocate of kids knowing basic knowledge and facts I wanted to crawl into a hole. Some of my disgust mixed with dumbfounded sarcasm and I answered, "Where IS the Queen? Where'd she go? Where WAS she throughout this ceremony?

Eyebrows wrinkled, lips pursed and went lopsided. Silence. Thinking. Just as the eyebrows were starting to twitch to the other side, someone else hesitantly spoke up, "I----I don't think we HAVE a Queen, do we Mrs. Cobb?"